Hugo Santander Ferreira
Hugo Santander  

 
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Al Qaeda's Wedding Room


                                                                                     FADE IN:

 

          EXT. EUROPEAN CITY--UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT. DAY

 

          Couples of students walk away from the parking lot--some of

          them kiss and hold each other's hands.

 

          Fatimah, a 21-year old dark-skin,

          half-Pakistani, half-Scottish voluptuous girl, parks her car.

 

          Fatimah gets out from her car and meets Professor Joyo, a

          brown-eye man in shape with a crown of white hair over his

          bald head.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Will you marry me, then, Fatimah?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'd rather pass the test, Muhammad.

 

          Fatimah starts ahead. Professor Joyos follows her.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    What about all the presents I've

                    given you? They amount about ten

                    thousand pounds!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    We just don't get along, Professor

                    Joyo.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    You get along with Yalda, don't you

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I don't want to share my husband

                    with another woman!

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I can stay with her while you

                    finish your studies in the US! And

                    I guaranteed you the best G.P.A to

                    get you into a graduate school.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Only if I marry you. Isn't that

                    what you call sexual harassment?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (smiling)

                    The proof of the pudding is in the

                    eating.

 

          Professor Joyo blocks her way.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I can also give a hand to your

                    friends. They need it!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You are on my way, Professor.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Come to my place tomorrow. We can

                    grade your exam together...

 

          She sighs and leaves.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (continuing; from the

                         background)

                    Tomorrow! At nine in the evening!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. UNIVERSITY SCHOOL ROOM. DAY

 

                              ANNIE (O.S.)

                    Sean!

 

          SEAN, a 20-year old blonde muscle guy, takes out a gum from

          his mouth and sticks it onto a wall. He holds ANNIE in his

          arms, a 21-year old bimbo.

 

                              SEAN

                         (disgusted)

                    You know I hate cherry.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Don't be a moron! I couldn't find

                    another flavor.

 

          Sean kisses her.

 

          They are in the corner of a school room, besides the back

          door. The door is slightly open. Annie faces the alley, so

          she can look out as she kisses Sean.

 

          People walk on the alley without noticing her.

 

          About twenty students hang around--some of them read, some

          of them look out through the window, some others write.

 

          Two women and a man stare at Sean and Annie.

 

                              WOMAN 1

                    I saw her leaving Professor's Bay

                    apartment this morning!

 

                              WOMAN 2

                    Those Pakis are everywhere.

 

          Fatimah walks along the alley.

 

          Annie pushes Sean away from her.

 

                              ANNIE

                    There comes that nerd again.

 

          Fatimah gets into the school room by the main door. Sean

          turns around, opens his arms, walks over the room and

          embraces Fatimah.

 

                              SEAN

                    Fatimah! We were just talking about

                    you!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Uh! I was just thinking about you

                    both, guys! What are you doing

                    tomorrow evening?

 

                              SEAN

                    We don't know yet, I think.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Perhaps you can come to my house to

                    have a drink. We can play cards, or

                    something, you know...

 

          Annie approaches them.

 

                              SEAN

                    Now, I just remember: Annie must go

                    to visit her mum. Must you not,

                    darling?

 

                              ANNIE

                    I'm so forgetful! You are not going

                    to leave me alone, Honey!

                         (joking)

                    You make me jealous, Fatimah. Sean

                    just talk about you day and night.

                    I think he has a crush on you.

 

          Fatimah blushes. Annie stares at Sean with complicity. Sean

          embraces Fatimah.

 

                              SEAN

                    Why don't you help us with the

                    written exam today?

 

                              ANNIE

                    Oh, yes! Stay close to us, Fatimah.

                    This test gives me the creeps.

 

                              WOMAN 1

                    Are you going to cheat on her?

 

                              ANNIE

                    Shut up you, fucking little piece

                    of shit!

 

                              WOMAN 1

                         (to Fatimah)

                    I warn you.

 

                              SEAN

                         (imitating)

                    I warn you! Why don't you mind your

                    own business, bitch!

 

          Professor Joyo enters. He looks at Annie. Annie smiles to

          him.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. UNIVERSITY SCHOOL ROOM. DAY

 

          Students write on their test. Professor Joyo looks out

          through the window and then back to his students.

 

          Fatimah writes concentrated on her sheet. Annie, to her

          side, peeks on her test. Sean, seated behind Fatimah,

          half-covers his mouth.

 

                              SEAN

                         (whispering)

                    Question three B. Three B.

 

          Fatimah doesn't reply. Sean looks at Annie. Annie looks at

          Professor Joyo.

 

          Professor Joyo nods his head and looks at Fatimah.

 

          Annie snatches the sheet from Fatimah's desk. Annie hands it

          out to Sean.

 

          Fatimah turns around.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (whispering and laughing)

                    Give it back to me!

 

          Sean copies Fatimah's answers.

 

                              SEAN

                    Would you marry me?

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (blushed)

                    Do you...?

 

                              SEAN

                    I love your boobs!

 

          Annie giggles. Professor Joyo looks at her. Fatimah writes

          on a new sheet.

 

          Sean copies the answers.

 

          Woman 1 looks back at Fatimah.

 

          Sean hands out Fatimah's test to Annie. Annie copies it.

 

          Fatimah turns around.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (to Sean; whispering)

                    Where is my test?

 

                              SEAN

                         (whispering)

                    Ask Annie.

 

          Annie squeezes Fatimah's test into a ball of paper and

          throws it towards Professor Joyo. Sean laughs. Fatimah

          stands up to catch it. The ball of paper hits Professor Joyo

          on his head.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (standing up)

                    Enough!

 

          Fatimah looks at him in horror. Sean and Annie giggle.

          Professor Joyo looks at them, who, all of a sudden, write on

          their papers.

 

          Professor Joyo picks up the ball of paper from the floor.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I really apologize, Professor. I

                    just finished and...

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Will you tell me you three were not

                    cheating on me? Annie! Sean!

                    Fatimah!

 

          Fatimah looks at his friends, who struggle to conceal their

          giggles.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. PROFESSOR JOYO'S LIVING ROOM. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah dines with Majhmut, her stepfather, a 65-year small

          clean-shaved overweight old man.

 

                              MAJHMUT(V.O.)

                    You are the shame of this family!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I am not your family!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    If your mother were alive she would

                    slap you on your face! By Mohamed!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Give me my share of the inheritance

                    and I will leave you!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    I'm the one who decides what's the

                    best for you, you little prick!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I won't marry you!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Do you have any other option left?

                    All the universities in this

                    country will ban you!

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I didn't do it. I told you. Two

                    friends asked for help and I...

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    You are only good at washing

                    dishes, darling. That's why I'd

                    love to you.┬á

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'm your daughter!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    My stepdaughter...

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Unbelievable! I should call the

                    police.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    I'm a policeman! Listen! I know

                    what this Professor Joyo is up to.

                    He framed you.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (firm)

                    Annie and Sean will be ousted too.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Annie won't allow it! Forget about

                    that whore and her pimp? Just get

                    married! I'm still young. I want to

                    help you! I want you to enjoy your

                    life!

 

          Fatimah picks a slice of bread.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You just want my money. Give me

                    Mom's inheritance.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Until you marry me, or until I die!

                    The will is very clear!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Your mother rewrote it in her

                    deathbed! I don't believe you. Can

                    I get the butter, please?

 

                              MAJHMUT

                         (calmer)

                    Yasmin will arrive at any moment.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I know. You must be happy!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    I see Salim has already told you.

                    He's always happy to see you. I

                    wonder why.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (quick)

                    He's a faithful husband.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    You should thank him. He has very

                    kindly contacted five US

                    Universities on your behalf. Shame

                    on you! How could you cheat?

 

          Fatimah picks up the butter. Majhmut snatches it.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                         (continuing)

                    You must be in shape for your

                    wedding, Fatimah.

 

          Fatimah snatches the butter from her stepfather. He pulls it

          back. It jumps over his face.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. IN FRONT OF MAJHMUT'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          A taxi parks on the street. Salim, a 68-year old tall fellow

          comes out and opens a door. Yasmin, a 50-year old woman

          steps out. She wears a giant hat.

 

                              SALIM

                    Are you sure we have arrived to the

                    right place?

 

                              YASMIN

                    Have you taken your Alzheimer

                    pills, darling?

 

          Fatimah comes out of the house. Majhmut follows her.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    And you haven't taken care of the

                    laundry yet! Come back and clean

                    your mess...!

 

          Majhmut recognizes them. Fatimah runs away.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to Salim)

                    Isn't he a charming man? Taking

                    care of his house, just for us.

 

          Majhmut sweeps his buttery face with his hands. Yasmin

          embraces Majhmut. Salim nods his head.

 

                              SALIM

                    Asalaam Alaykum.

 

          Majhmut nods his head.

 

                              SALIM

                    I think you need to wash your

                    face...

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. IN FRONT OF PROFESSOR JOYO'S HOUSE. NIGHT.

 

          House in front of river. Fatimah knocks over a heavy door.

          Attached to the door, she discovers the statue of a devil

          figure, who seems to stare at her.

 

          The door opens. Rock music is heard. Professor Joyo comes

          out smiling and drunk. He wears a bathrobe and a swimming

          suit.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Fatimah! I... I'm expecting you

                    tomorrow!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What I have to tell you won't take

                    too long, Professor.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I'm in the middle of a class...

 

          He tries to close the door. Fatimah holds it.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I accept.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    What?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You've won. I'll marry you.

 

                              ANNIE (O.S.)

                    Is everything all right, Professor?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Yes... everything is fine. I'm

                    so... Happy!

 

          Fatimah looks dazzled.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (continuing)

                    Never mind. We'll celebrate..

                    tomorrow.

 

          Annie comes out with two other girls--they wear bikinis.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Fatimah! Aren't you going to join

                    the party?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Well! What are you doing here?

 

                              ANNIE

                    Professor Joyo understood I was not

                    cheating at all.

 

          Sean comes out, wet and wearing a swiming suit

 

                              SEAN

                    Why did you leave the pool? The

                    guys are waiting!

 

                              ANNIE

                    Fatimah is here.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (apologetic)

                    Do you play water polo?

 

          Visibly puzzled, Fatimah bangs the door.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. MAJHMUT'S LIVING ROOM. NIGHT

 

          Yasmin and Majhmut, seated on the same sofa, drink Oporto

          wine.

 

                              YASMIN

                    To be famous in the States is a

                    common thing. One day, walking on

                    the street, Danny de Vito

                    approached me. He almost got into

                    my boobs. Can you believe it? I

                    thought I was going to suffer a

                    heart attack!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Were people amazed? I mean, did

                    they come to ask him for an

                    autograph?

 

          Salim stands up on the background, by the window. He moves

          pieces over a chess board.

 

                              YASMIN

                    By no means! People just went on

                    without even taking notice of him!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    They must be tired to see so many

                    stars!

 

                              YASMIN

                    You see them everywhere! In England

                    he wouldn't have passed unnoticed,

                    of course.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                         (lusty, whispering)

                    Is Salim going out for a stroll

                    tonight?

 

          Salim looks out through the window. He notices Fatimah, who,

          lying on a bench across the street, looks at the sky.

 

                              YASMIN (V.O.)

                    Salim? He will spend hours in front

                    of that chess board--like an

                    autistic child. He is retired,

                    anyway.

                         (sassy)

                    And so boring--he knows it.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                         (whispering)

                    You must be fed up.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (suspire)

                    C'est ma vie.

                         (whispering)

                    That's why I came. I have some

                    business in mind. For you and me.

 

          Yasmin introduces her hand into Majhmut's chest.

 

          Salim approaches.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing; loud)

                    Is it scratchy up here, too,

                    Majhmut?

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    A little bit lower.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to Salim)

                    Where are you going, Darling?

 

                              SALIM

                    Just for a stroll.

 

                              YASMIN

                    But... How long will it take?

 

                              SALIM

                    About fifteen minutes.

 

                              YASMIN

                    All right... I'm gonna miss you

                    baby.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    There! Perfect!

 

          Salim puts on his jacket.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. BENCH IN FRONT OF MAJHMUT'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah looks at the full moon on the sky.

 

                              SALIM (O.S.)

                    This is for you, Fatimah.

 

          He gives a white envelope to Fatimah. She gets it and looks

          dazzled at Salim.

 

                              SALIM

                    May I?

 

          Fatimah nods her head. Salim sits on the bench.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Thanks.

 

                              SALIM

                    Won't you open it?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What happened between we both is

                    over.

 

                              SALIM

                    Perseverance is a virtue.

                         (pause)

                    It has nothing to do with us.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    How is that every middle-age man I

                    know falls in love with me?

 

                              SALIM

                    Because you are the smartest girl

                    they have ever met. And...

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yes?

 

                              SALIM

                    ... you also have great boobs.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Shut up!

 

                              SALIM

                    I'm not lying.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You are the only man who gives me

                    credit for what I do. Perhaps I

                    should just accept I won't ever

                    marry a man of my age!

 

                              SALIM

                    Did Professor Joyo finally proposed

                    you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yes.

 

                              SALIM

                    Sure you didn't... Did you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    And Majhmut.

 

                              SALIM

                    Majhmut?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I knew his intentions since the day

                    I met him. I'm sure he altered

                    Mum's will!

                         (beat)

                    I should just forget about them. I

                    had made up my mind never to become

                    and opera singer. So...

                    Insha'allah! I studied business

                    administration, and now, I can't

                    study at all! I will get a job as a

                    cashier...

 

                              SALIM

                    You don't have to be here Fatimah.

 

          Fatimah opens the letter.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (impatient)

                    What happened between we both was

                    wrong.

                         (pause)

                    I'm glad you didn't tell my aunt.

 

                              SALIM

                    Do you regret what happened?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yes, I do.

 

                              SALIM

                    But you seemed so happy. I know you

                    loved me!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What about Yasmin?

 

                              SALIM

                    She has a crush on your father.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    That doesn't excuse us!

 

          Fatimah reads the letter.

 

                              SALIM

                    I just found out she's a member of

                    Al Qaeda.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    This is from Temple University!

 

          Fatimah looks smiling at Salim.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Thanks Salim...

 

                              SALIM

                    I'm going to divorce her.

 

          Fatimah looks at him. Salim stands up and takes her in his

          hands.

 

                              SALIM

                    Then we'll get married.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I... I have something for you too.

 

          Fatimah takes out a gold medal from her purse.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I want you to keep this medal.

 

          Fatimah hands it out to Salim.

 

                              SALIM

                    It's beautiful...

 

          Salim keeps the medal in the pocket of his shirt. Salim

          kisses Fatimah. She kisses him.

 

          Salim lifts her in his arms. They laugh. Salim's facial

          expression turns into pain. He can't bear Fatimah's weight.

          He half-faints. He stumbles. They fall on the ground,

          rolling onto the middle of the street.

 

          A police car stops in front of them. Siren lights.

 

                              YASMIN (O.S.)

                    Salim!

 

          Salim pushes Fatimah away.

 

                              SALIM

                    Yes, darling?

 

          Majhmut and Yasmin look at them from the front door of

          Majhmut's house.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    What the hell is going on between

                    you both?

 

                              YASMIN

                    I never thought you were going

                    to...

 

          A police car stops in front of them. POLICEMAN 1 gets off

          his car.

 

                              POLICEMAN 1

                         (to Fatimah)

                    Are you O.K., Mrs?

 

          Fatimah stands up.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Better than ever, officer!

 

                              POLICEMAN 1

                    And you, Sir?

 

          Salim lies on the floor. He has fainted.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim?

 

                              POLICEMAN 1

                    Sir?

 

                              YASMIN

                    Darling!

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    He's in coma!

 

                              POLICEMAN 1

                         (to his radio)

                    An ambulance to 24 Byron Street!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah looks nervously to a BABY, who plays with a ball in

          front of her.

 

          Majhmut and Yasmin are seated at the opposite side of the

          room.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (whispering)

                    I may get three hundred thousand

                    bucks out of this.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Couldn't you buy him a better

                    insurance?

 

                              YASMIN

                    He was so cheap.

 

          A nurse approaches Fatimah.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing)

                    Do you like boxing?

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Yeah. You mean, in TV?

 

          The nurse and Fatimah approach Majhmut and Yasmin.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Here comes that nigger again.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What did you say you, bitch?

 

                              YASMIN

                         (sobbing)

                    And she is my niece.

 

                              NURSE

                    Are you Mr. Bhil's wife?

 

          Yasmin sobs and nods positively.

 

                              NURSE

                         (continuing)

                    Your husband has survived.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Are you sure?

 

          Yasmin takes her head in her hands.

 

                              NURSE

                    He was in coma, but... Are you all

                    right?

 

          Fatimah looks at Yasmin, who screams and faints over

          Majhmut's shoulder, falling onto the floor.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. BOXING COURT. DAY

 

          A multitude surrounds a gigantic boxing court. They scream

          as two men fight ferociously. One of them is Sean.

 

          Yasmin, wearing a bandage over her head, and Majhmut, sit

          down in the first row.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    How did you meet this guy?

 

                              YASMIN

                    By internet.

 

          Majhmut looks at Sean, who hits furiously his RIVAL. Annie

          screams at him from the first row.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    Yeah!

 

                              YASMIN

                    He and his girlfriend will do

                    EVERYTHING to be Al Qaeda members.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Sean!

 

          Sean looks at her and smiles. The Rival hits him on his

          face.

 

          Sean falls knocked out on the floor.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. MAJHMUT'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Salim serves breakfast to Fatimah.

 

                              SALIM

                    I just called to the hospital. They

                    haven't heard of Yasmin and

                    Majhmut.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Did you check the motels?

 

          A bell is heard. Fatimah opens the door.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (angry)

                    I already told you! I'm done with

                    you, professor!

 

          Professor Joyo steps in. He sizes Fatimah's arms.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I doesn't matter. You have approved

                    the course, Fatimah!

 

          Joyo kisses Fatimah on her mouth. Fatimah slaps him on his

          face. He looks dazzled at her. After checking the room he

          fixes his gaze on Salim. He approaches Salim.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (continuing; nervous)

                    It wasn't sexual harassment. You

                    saw that she jumped on me and...

                    Well, I regret to inform you that

                    your daughter has been expelled

                    from our Academic Institution. On

                    this envelope you will find the

                    reasons of her dismissal.

 

          Professor Joyo delivers a white envelope to Salim.

 

                              SALIM

                    Is that it?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Yes!

 

                              SALIM

                    You can leave us now, then,

                    "professor".

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    But... I mean. Don't you want to

                    discuss this matter with me? Are

                    you aware that... For God's sake!

                    Your daughter's future is at the

                    stake! I can help her!

 

                              SALIM

                    How so?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I want to marry her.

 

                              SALIM

                         (laughing)

                    First, Fatimah is my fiance, Sir.

                    Second, you better run before I

                    smash your head.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I don't understand.

                         (to Fatimah)

                    Would you despise me for this old

                    fart?

 

                              SALIM

                         (furious)

                    Say that again!

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Fuck you!

 

          Salim hits him. Professor Joyo fells on the floor. He stands

          up and runs away in horror to the second floor, followed

          closely by Salim. He attempts to hide into a closet.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Help! This man is gonna kill me!

 

          Yasmin steps in.

 

                              YASMIN

                    What's going on here? Salim! Aren't

                    you supposed to be at the hospital!

 

          Professor Joyo escapes.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    This man!

                         (he points out to Salim)

                    He's mad!

 

                              SALIM

                    Get the hell out of here, you

                    moron!

 

          Salim advances towards him. Professor Joyo jumps out of an

          open window.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Help!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. BACK WALL OF MAJHMUT'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Professor Joyo's body trembles on the frame of the window--

          there is a gap of five meters between the window and the

          ground.

 

          Beneath, Majhmut approaches raising his arms.

 

                              MAJHMUT

                    I'll get you!

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Help!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. PROFESSOR JOYO'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Salim and Yasmin run to grasp Professor Joyo's hands. They

          mingle their hands and Professor Joyo falls down.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Ah!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. BACK WALL OF PROFESSOR JOYO'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Open-eyes Majhmut lies on the floor. Professor Joyo stands

          up unscathed.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I'm just fine! Thanks man! I...

 

          Professor Joyo looks at Majhmut's still face. He bends down

          and touches his neck.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    You are... You...

 

          Professor Joyo looks up to the upper window of Majhmut's

          house, from where Salim and Yasmin look down at him.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    He's dead!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CEMENTERY. DAY

 

          It rains. Wearing a black outfit, Fatimah stands up

          accompanied by Salim, who holds an XXL umbrella. She looks

          at a DIGGER, who throws earth over a ditch.

 

          Groups of people move away.

 

                              SALIM

                    Now there is no reason for you to

                    stay here.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (crying)

                    He wanted to marry me!

 

          She turns around and meets Sean and Annie.

 

          Sean opens his arms.

 

                              SEAN

                    Fatimah!

 

                              ANNIE

                    My dearest friend!

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Keep your compliments for Professor

                    Joyo.

 

                              SEAN

                    Huh?

 

                              ANNIE

                    We heard you are moving to the

                    States. Is that right?

 

          Fatimah doesn't react.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (continuing)

                    Well. That's fabulous! We just

                    wanted to say bye bye to you. I

                    know we owe you an apology.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    So long.

 

          Fatimah walks away. Salim follow her. Annie and Sean follow

          them.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Aren't you a little bit rude with

                    your friends?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    All right!

 

          They stop.

 

                              ANNIE

                    You won't keep a grudge against us,

                    will you? Professor Joyo just wants

                    to apologize to you. Come with your

                    mother and dine with us in the

                    Professor's bungalow!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    My mother?

 

                              SEAN

                    Yasmin!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    She is not my mother!

 

                              ANNIE

                    Whoever! A barbecue by his swimming

                    pool. Come one! He just wants to

                    marry you!

 

          Fatimah turns around.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Pool? With this weather?

 

          They look at Professor Joyo, who from the distance talks to

          Yasmin under the protection of an umbrella.

 

          Fatimah looks suspiciously at them. Finally she embraces

          Annie.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Forgive me. I'm acting as a fool.

                    I'm moving for good and...

 

                              ANNIE

                    Don't say it!┬á We have a surprise

                    for you!

 

                              SEAN

                    We bought tickets to Philadelphia

                    via Bogot├í, Colombia!

 

                              ANNIE

                    Yeah!

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (worried)

                    You...?

 

          Drenched Sean and Annie smile at Fatimah.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. UNIVERSITY'S GREEN AREA. DAY

 

          Nearby, Yasmin talks to Professor Joyo.

 

                              YASMIN

                    They wouldn't have believed you.

                    The police dismiss it as an

                    accident.┬á

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I'm so sorry that your...

 

                              YASMIN

                         (flirting)

                    I lost a friend, but I found a real

                    man.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I really appreciate your help. Is

                    there anything I can do for you?

 

                              YASMIN

                         (pragmatic)

                    Actually, there is...

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. AIRPORT. DAY

 

          An airplane takes flight.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. AIRPLANE CABIN. DAY

 

          Seated besides a window, Fatimah looks at the sky through

          her window. A PASSENGER sits by her side.

 

          Rows ahead, Yasmin and Salim drink cocktails.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Why is she doing just by herself?

                    It's not very polite of her to take

                    a second-class seat.

 

                              SALIM

                    I wanted to have a word with you.

 

                              YASMIN

                    I know, Darling. I also have two

                    eyes. I don't know about that poor

                    Professor who got almost killed. It

                    would have been your fault. Now,

                    what should I think of you and this

                    suspicious idea of bringing that

                    half-breed fatty whore to our

                    house?

 

                              SALIM

                    She is a cute girl.

 

                              YASMIN

                    And a gold-digger!

 

                              SALIM

                    SHe just got her inheritance!

 

          Yasmin looks at Salim's chest. There we see the medal

          Fatimah gave him, hanging from a golden chain.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Where did you get that from?

 

                              SALIM

                    Uh! Well, I wanted to tell you.

                    Fatimah gave it to me.

 

                              YASMIN

                    You are lovers!

 

                              SALIM

                    I want us to get divorced, Yasmin.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Salim!

 

          She stares at him. He copes with her gaze with

          determination.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing)

                    It will cost you, my dear. I'm a

                    faithful wife.

 

          Salim hands out a set of pictures to Yasmin.

 

          She looks at them--we don't see them.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing)

                    But.. This is disgusting! Did you

                    hire a detective? You, bastard.

 

                              SALIM

                    Are you now willing to divorce?

 

                              YASMIN

                         (sweet)

                    May I keep the Florida house,

                    Darling?

 

                                                        FADE OUT:

 

                              TITLE CARD

                    Philadelphia, USA. Five months

                    later.

 

                                                         FADE IN:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          View of City Hall from the Art Museum of Philadelphia.

 

          Yasmin stands up on the top of the stairs. Imam OSAMA

          accompanies her. He is a 55-year old thin man. They look

          towards the door of the Museum.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    So, she's the lost believer.

 

                              YASMIN

                    What a plan!

 

          Fatimah walks. She handles a scholar bag. She talks to

          DIANE, a 30-year old African-American woman.

 

                              DIANE

                    Does your aunt refer to you as a

                    nigger? Are you sure?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I heard that.

 

                              DIANE

                    That's politically incorrect. You

                    can sue her! You are not even a

                    nigger! And who is that guy?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    She spends most of her time with

                    lovers.

 

                              DIANE

                    I can see..

 

          They approach Yasmin.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (smiling)

                    Fatimah! Thanks for coming. This is

                    Imam Osama. Can we speak frankly?

 

          Yasmin looks at Diane.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing; to Fatimah)

                    I mean, you and us.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    This is Diane. She studies Opera as

                    well.

 

          Imam Osama, Yasmin and Diane nod their heads

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (with an exaggerated smile)

                    Assalamu Alaykun!

 

                              YASMIN

                    Nice meeting you!

 

                              DIANE

                    Are you members of Al Qaeda?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Excuse me?

 

                              YASMIN

                    What a funny sense of humor.

 

          Diane and Fatimah step down the stairs and get into a Rolls

          Royce. Diane and the Imam follow them.

 

                              DIANE

                    Do you really believe we are of a

                    different kind, Imam?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    As I can see...

 

                              YASMIN

                    I would like you to introduce you

                    to some young men, Fatimah. A group

                    of musicians.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    The ones who are into jazz?

 

                              YASMIN

                    Their main singer was killed in a

                    car accident last week. And, I

                    don't know why I thought of you.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (pause)

                    Your aunt loves you Fatimah. She

                    already found a job for you.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (to Diane)

                    Would you go with me?

 

                              DIANE

                    If you trust them.

 

          Diane opens the door of her Rolls Royce.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (pale of envy)

                    I see your boss drives a fancy car.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (to Diane)

                    You should bring your Ferrari to

                    the school. This one is too white.

 

                              DIANE

                         (to the Imam)

                    Why don't you go ahead?

 

          The Imam and Yasmin walk away.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (whispering)

                    The world is upside down.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Democrats...

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. TERRY'S FRONT YARD. DAY

 

          A group of musicians play a bad song. TERRY, the guitarist,

          is a 30-year old thin and sleek fellow--his eyes are a

          prominent trait of his face. MARTIN, the bass, is a 35-year

          old man with a large nose. STEVE, the organist, is a 40-year

          old fellow.

 

          Terry screams the end of the song. Imam Osama and Yasmin

          clap their hands.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Insha'allah! You are good! You,

                    Terry MacMillan!

 

                              TERRY

                    Thanks! I won't forget that! I

                    won't forget that!

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to Fatimah)

                    Would you be interested, then?

 

          Fatimah looks at Diane, who smiles with irony.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    This music is just a little bit

                    edgy for me.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Nonsense.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'm an opera singer.

                  

 

                              TERRY

                    What does Oprah recommend this

                    week, guys?

 

                              STEVE

                    Yeah!

 

                              SAMANTHNA

                         (opening her mouth)

                    Unbelievable!

 

                              MARTIN

                    One, two three!

 

          Diane looks at her watch.

 

                              DIANE

                    I have a doctor's appointment,

                    Fatimah.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I can go with you.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (quick)

                    Wait! Stay with us, darling, just

                    for ten minutes. I'll bring you

                    home.

 

                              DIANE

                    Call me tonight. God bless you!

 

          Diane walks away. Terry plays the guitar.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Your friend is an infidel.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    She is a Christian.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Still she is an infidel.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    My grand mother was Christian as

                    well, Imam.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Was she?

 

                              TERRY

                    No need to worry about, Fatimah.

                    You are a true believer to us.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Thanks for the compliment.

                         (to Yasmin)

                    Are we going home?

 

          Fatimah picks up her bag from the ground. Yasmin Gives a

          subtle look to Terry.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Oh! I forgot I should go to city

                    Hall first.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    But...

 

                              TERRY

                         (to Fatimah)

                    That's all right! I'll drive you

                    all the way home!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. TERRY'S CAR. DAY

 

          Terry drives the car through Philadelphia.

 

                              TERRY

                    My family has made history. That's

                    something my girlfriends should be

                    aware of. My great grand father was

                    the first white Muslim in the US.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (ironic)

                    He must be so proud of you.

 

                              TERRY

                    I can't tell darling, he's with

                    three hundred virgins.

 

          Fatimah rolls her eyes.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing, doing his best)

                    Do I like you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You mean, as a musician?

 

                              TERRY

                    Uh?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I hate heavy metal. Still it is,

                    how to put it? Lucrative...

 

                              TERRY

                    Look at what?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Sorry?

 

                              TERRY

                    Look at it! Got it! Yes, it's a

                    nice medal!

 

          Terry shows Fatimah the medal she had given to Salim.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Insha'allah! How did you get it?

 

                              TERRY

                    A friend of mine gave it to me. She

                    had a crush on me. But I was just

                    teasing her. She was a night-club

                    dancer, you know.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Do you think she bought it?

 

                              TERRY

                    Don't know! Probably she just got

                    if from a customer. Those places

                    are full of silly old men.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (visible hurt)

                    I see.

 

                              TERRY

                    You look upset...

 

          Terry laughs.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I can get off here, if you don't

                    mind.

 

                              TERRY

                    Sure!

 

          Terry crosses two lanes at once and parks his car. The car

          behind him has changed speedily its lane to avoid an

          accident. The driver passes him blowing the horn.

 

                              DRIVER

                    What's wrong with your lane, dude?

 

                              TERRY

                    Thanks, man!

 

          Terry comes out of his car and searches on the ground.

          Fatimah gets off the car--it is a pink car.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What are you doing down there?

 

                              TERRY

                    That guy is a jerk! Wha is wrong

                    with my lane┬┐

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Don't ask me!

 

                              TERRY

                    Do you like my car?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Well, it's a little bit gay.

 

                              TERRY

                    Yea! I wanted to bring it to the

                    parade and then to blow myself in

                    it with all those decadent

                    capitalist guys!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Are you serious?

 

                              TERRY

                    Listen!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yeah?

 

                              TERRY

                    Would you like to go out for a

                    date?

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (smiling)

                    That's very nice of you, but...

 

                              TERRY

                    I know a lot of pole dancers who

                    would die to marry me. But I like

                    good Muslim girls, babe!

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (impatient)

                    You don't have to.

 

                              TERRY

                    They say I have luck with all sort

                    of women! Personality is all, you

                    know.

 

          Fatimah looks at him with skepticism.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Do you have a time in mind?

 

          Terry looks at his watch.

 

                              TERRY

                    Three twenty.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I mean... At what time are you

                    going to pick me up?

 

                              TERRY

                    Oh! Eight! Eight twenty, just after

                    the football game!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. PHILADELPHIA'S AIRPORT. DAY

 

          Annie and Sean walk along a large alley. They wear wool

          coats.

 

                              SEAN

                    We don't have to pick up the

                    luggage, Baby.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Didn't you listen to Yasmin? Al

                    Qaeda will flay your skin off if

                    you don't do it.

 

                              SEAN

                    They are getting into my nerves,

                    Annie. They didn't even allow me to

                    open the red bag.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (whispering)

                    It's just drugs.

 

                              SEAN

                    You knew it?

 

          Sean steps back. Annie pushes him on.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Did you think they were going to

                    grant us fifty thousand dollars,

                    just for nothing?

 

          They enter into the baggage claim hall.

 

          Sean gasps. The place is crowded with passengers and police

          officers.

 

          POLICEMAN 2 talks through a walkie-talkie.

 

          POLICEMAN 3 lashes an unfriendly dog.

 

          Sean sweeps with his handkerchief heavy drops of sweat on

          his face. He walks on.

 

          Luggage of all colors and sizes roll over the electric tray.

          People pick up their property.

 

          Sean looks around and fixes his gaze on POLICE WOMAN 1. She

          looks at him. Sean turns his gaze towards the baggage tray.

 

          Annie picks up a small black luggage.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (continuing)

                    There it comes.

 

          Annie looks to a red bag rolling over the electric tray.

          Sean takes Annie's black bag.

 

                              SEAN

                    I will take yours. It's heavier.

 

          Annie snatches it.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Are you a man? Come on, boxer! Pick

                    it up!

 

          They both struggle for the black bag.

 

          Policemen 4 and 5 talk to each other. They stare at Sean and

          Annie.

 

          Sean looks at them. Suddenly determined, he gazes the red

          bag. He moves forward to pick it up, but it slips under his

          fingers.

 

          He pushes people and jumps over the tray.

 

          He picks up the bag, steps back and fells onto the ground,

          hitting 87-year old MRS. CANCINO by accident.

 

          Mrs. Cancino holds a bag-carrying-car, which rolls away

          under Sean's push. She struggles to balance four heavy

          suitcases in it.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    What the hell...!

 

          Sean steps forward and holds the bag-carrying-car. He shoves

          the suitcases in. Sean's face is tense by the effort .

 

                              SEAN

                    I got it! I got it!

 

          Sean is overwhelmed by the weight. The bag-carrying-car

          slowly rolls back against Mrs. Cancino, who screams and

          stumbles.

 

          Sean drops the suitcases in order to hold Mrs. Cancino. He

          supports her just before she falls on the floor. Between

          these two actions he gets rid of the red bag--it slips on

          the floor till it reaches the shoes of Policeman 3.

 

          The dog sniffs the bag.

 

                              POLICEMAN 3

                         (to the dog)

                    Anything fishy, Rex?

 

          The dog barks joyful at Policeman 3, who picks up the bag

          and walks towards Sean.

 

          Mrs. Cancino organizes the four suitcases in her

          bag-carrier--displaying unexpected strength.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    You should learn to respect the

                    elderly!

 

                              ANNIE

                    He just tried to help you, Mom.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    I'm not your Mom.

                         (to Policeman 3)

                    These people tried to switch my

                    luggage, Officer.

 

          Mrs. Cancino leaves.

 

                              POLICEMAN 3

                    Whose bag is this?

 

                              SEAN

                    Not mine. I mean, yes. I didn't

                    drop it.

 

          Annie picks up the luggage.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (smiling)

                    Thank you, Officer.

 

          Policeman 3 leaves. Annie handles the bag to Sean.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT.┬á LIVING ROOM AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          A CD is introduced by Salim's hand into a CD player. "Soave

          sia il vento" is heard.

 

          Salim, wearing a white t-shirt, looks at Fatimah, who lies

          in a couch.

 

                              SALIM

                    It's a farewall song to our beloved

                    ones.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Why are they leaving?

 

                              SALIM

                    Because they wanted to feel how

                    fragile love can be.

 

                              SAMANTA

                    Did you love Yasmin?

 

                              SALIM

                    Of course I did.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Did she give you a hard time? I

                    mean, now...

 

                              SALIM

                    On the contrary. She was vary

                    Happy. She got what she wanted.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Does she plan to marry someone

                    else?

 

                              SALIM

                    Why do you ask?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I saw her with an Imam.

 

                              SALIM

                         (pause)

                    Can I kiss you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I was very clear. I don't want to

                    play until we get married.

                         (beat)

                    Where is the medal I gave you?

 

          Salim holds his breath.

 

                              SALIM

                    In a security box...

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I want to see it.

 

                              SALIM

                    I...

 

                              SAMANTA

                    Are you sure?

 

                              SALIM

                    All right. I won't lie to you.┬á I

                    lost it.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I see.

 

          Salim approaches her.

 

                              SALIM

                    Why do you...

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Don't touch me!

 

                              SALIM

                    Don't you think you are

                    overreacting?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    No, I have to tell you. I can't go

                    out with you tomorrow evening.

 

          Salim looks surprised at her.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (continuing)

                    I have a date with a musician.

 

                              SALIM

                         (sad)

                    But you... That's all right. I'm

                    sorry...

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (nervous)

                    I have to call someone.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. PHILADELPHIA'S AIRPORT. DAY

 

          A hall way. People walk on, carrying their luggage. Custom

          officers stop and question people. CUSTOM OFFICER 1 talks to

          Mrs. Cancino.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    This is outrageous!

 

                              CUSTOM OFFICER 1

                    You must follow me, Mrs Cancino.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    I won't do it! I won't allow you to

                    put your hands on my suitcases!

                    They are full of presents I bought

                    for my American grandchildren! Not

                    again!

 

          Mrs. Cancino takes a bottle out of her bossom and sprays

          Custum officer 1. She pushes forward her luggage. Custom

          officer 1 smiles like a baby.

 

                              CUSTOM OFFICER 1

                    Do you also have a gift for me Mum?

 

        

 

          Mrs. Cancino takes a Santander peasant doll and gives it to

          Custom officer 1.

 

                              CUSTOM OFFICER 1

                    Thanks Mummy!

 

          Custom officer 1 shrinks his shoulders. Mrs. Cancino rolls

          her suitcases away.

 

                              CUSTOM OFFICER 1

                         (to another passanger)

                    Come in, Mom!

 

                                                         ┬áCUT TO:

 

          INT. PHILADELPHIA'S AIRPORT. DAY

 

          Professor Joyo, disguised with a fake beard & mustache,

          glasses and cap, walks behind Sean and Annie. Wearing short

          pants and a t-shirt, he carries a gigantic green suitcase.

          He chews gum.

 

                              ANNIE (O.S.)

                    Cold blood. We are close.

 

          Sean and Annie walk in front of Professor Joyo. The exit

          gate is wide open in front of them.

 

          Professor Joyo observes them. His hands grip his bag.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA (O.S.)

                    Where do you come from, Sir?

 

          Annie and Sean stop one yard in front of the exit gate.

 

                              ANNIE

                    From Europe.

 

          Imam Osama, now dressed as a Custom Officer, looks at Sean.

          He looks at Professor Joyo.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (to Professor Joyo)

                    You can go on, Sir.

 

          Professor Joyo exits.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (continuing; to Sean and

                         Annie)

                    You both, please, follow me.

 

          Sean fades and falls over the ground.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. TERRY'S FRONT YARD. DAY

 

          Martin smokes. Steve drinks beer. Martin hands out his

          cigarette to Steve.

 

                              MARTIN

                    This shit takes you straight to the

                    milky way, man! I feel like blowing

                    up the tripping city!

 

          Steve smokes.

 

                              STEVE

                    Shut up! You say another word about

                    City Hall and I smash your shitty

                    head.

 

                              MARTIN

                    I didn't mention City Hall! You

                    drug-addict maniac serial killer!

 

          Terry comes out and crosses the yard. He wears a new green

          suit, yellow trousers, red tie and handkerchief. Martin and

          Steve follow him--during the dialogue he will leave the

          house to get into his car.

 

                              MARTIN

                         (continuing)

                    You look awesome in that suit, Man.

 

                              TERRY

                    Miss Piggy told me she likes

                    colors.

 

                              STEVE

                    Did you get the rings?

 

          Terry hands him out a small blue-velvet box. Steve looks at

          two golden rings.

 

                              TERRY

                    28 karats, man. I paid five

                    thousand dollars for them. A

                    fucking bargain.

 

                              STEVE

                    What? You are just wasting our

                    money. You, moron!

 

                              TERRY

                    I'm no moron. I even got a

                    discount.

 

                              STEVE

                    Couldn't you find some fucking

                    tinsel rings?

 

                              MARTIN

                    Huh! Huh! Don't bother him!

 

                              STEVE

                    Right! Terry must get hold of Miss

                    Piggy! But what about the money?

 

          Martin looks at his watch.

 

                              MARTIN

                    We must meet the Imam in two hours!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. PHILADELPHIA'S HOTEL. DAY

 

          Professor Joyo opens the door, takes out his hat and glasses

          and embraces Yasmin. The green bag lies on the floor.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (laughing)

                    You should have seen their faces!

 

                              YASMIN

                    Don't even tell me! That was pretty

                    good, Professor Joyo!

 

          Yasmin takes off his fake beard and mustache and kisses him

          on his mouth.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing)

                    Let me see the paste!

 

          Professor Joyo places the bag on the bed. He opens it. It is

          full of plastic bags--each of them full of white powder.

          Yasmin, laughing hysterically, opens a bottle of champagne

          and serves three cups.

 

          Imam Osama, now wearing a black suit, enters. He holds

          Sean's red bag.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Are you sick? This is not the place

                    to show off!

 

          Yasmin gives him a cup of champagne.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (authoritative)

                    Imam! Com on! Let's celebrate.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (almost crying of happiness)

                    ┬┐Can I get my papers now?

 

          Imam Osama approaches the window. He looks beyond.

 

                                                          INSERT:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET--CORNER. DAY

 

          MARCIANO and SEPULVEDA, two gangsters, stand up on a street

          corner. They watch the street. They wear dark suits and dark

          glasses.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA (O.S.)

                    Shut up and close that bag! There

                    is nothing to brag about yet.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. PHILADELPHIA'S HOTEL. DAY

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Professor Joyo should deliver

                    first.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Who?

 

          Yasmin closes the bag and gives it to Imam Osama.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to Professor Joyo)

                    We count on you, Sammy. The Imam

                    has service at seven.

 

          Professor Joyo looks at her in horror.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    My part of the deal was to bring

                    the luggage. I did it!

 

          Out of Professor Joyo's gaze, Imam Osama opens the closet

          and opens the bag.

 

          He takes out out of it a small gadget with a flickering

          light. The Imam closes the bag.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Once you do it, we'll give you your

                    American residency. You don't want

                    to come back to Brighton. They may

                    reopen the case of Osama's death.

 

          The Imam hands out the bag to Professor Joyo.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Ready?

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. POLICE STATION. DAY

 

          Annie cries and filters to someone we don't see. She is

          seated on a bench. INSPECTOR MACAULAY faces her.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    We found fifty grams of cocaine in

                    your luggage.

 

                              ANNIE

                    I swear to God I didn't know it.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    You might spend 10 years in prison,

                    Mrs.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Sorry, it's just that... You remind

                    me of so many Hollywood stars...

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (flattered)

                    What do you mean, madam?

 

                              ANNIE

                    I'm awfully sorry... Yes, I didn't

                    know anything. I swear it. That

                    man, Sean--he invited me to visit

                    his friend...

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Who?

 

                              ANNIE

                    Fatimah Hesbani. He had some kind

                    of dealings with her. Don't ask me

                    more, please. It makes me nervous.

                    Fatimah appears to be an innocent

                    girl, but she's a very dangerous

                    woman. I can't even talk...

 

          She cries.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    We got intelligence that fifty

                    kilograms of cocaine went into the

                    market today. It seems the customs

                    were fooled by the Cancino family.

                    Their grandmother makes Ma Baker

                    look like Mother Teresa! If you

                    help me to catch that Colombian

                    Familia, the US government will

                    offer you a house with three rooms

                    and a terrace, plus an annual

                    income of fifty thousand dollars!

 

                              ANNIE

                         (smiling)

                    Do you have rooms in Hawai?

 

          Inspector Macaulay shows his profile to Annie.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    So, do I look like George Clooney?

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. WEST PHILADELPHIA CAFE. DAY.

 

          Fatimah drinks a cappuccino. She talks to Diane, who smokes.

 

                              DIANE

                    Forget that guy. He's a fake.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I know he's not very bright, but...

                    He can help me to forget Salim.

 

                              DIANE

                    You love Salim! Stay with him!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I don't know Salim. I just found

                    out he goes to nightclubs.

 

                              DIANE

                    We don't know anybody. Did you date

                    any guys before, Fatimah?

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (blushed)

                    Well...

 

                              DIANE

                    Forget about Terry.

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I have already accepted his

                    invitation for a date.

 

                              DIANE

                         (sigh)

                    Whatever.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. GANGSTER'S DEN. NIGHT

 

          A dark basement, scarcely lit. The green suitcase is open by

          Marciano's hands. He takes out a knife with dexterity and

          opens a hole in one of them.

 

          Marciano introduces one of his fingers in the bag. He tastes

          the white powder.

 

          Sepulveda and Professor Joyo look attentively at him.

          MACHETE and ERUPTO, two giant gangsters, stand before the

          entrance.

 

          Marciano nods his head in a gesture of approval.

 

          Sepulveda gives a bag to Professor Joyo. He opens it. It is

          stuffed with dollar bills.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Thank you, Se├▒ores!

 

          Professor Joyo closes it. Machete takes out a machete from

          his coat and presses it over P. Joyo's throat. Professor

          Joyo gasps.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (continuing)

                    The northeastern branch of Al Qaeda

                    is with me!

 

                            

 

                              MARCIANO

                    That's what worries us. If we get

                    into trouble, we may blame your

                    fucking terrorism.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Oh, no! I can assure you, this coke

                    hasn't been poisoned!

 

          Marciano waves his hand and Machete keeps his gun.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    I wanted to hear that.

 

          Professor Joyo steps back.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (continuing)

                    Listen to me!

 

          Professor Joyo turns around.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (continuing)

                    If we see any cop sniffing around

                    here, we'll make a chili sauce with

                    your cheeks and buttocks, and we

                    send it to your family as a gift.

                    Do you get it?

 

          Machete giggles. Professor Joyo leaves.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. AL QAEDA HEADQUARTER. NIGHT

 

          A group of about twenty Al Qaeda members, wearing turbans,

          listen to Imam Osama, who, standing on a 4-feet wooden

          stage, speaks before a microphone. He wears a purple outfit.

          There are some people seated around the Imam; amongst them

          Terry, Steve and Martin.

 

          Professor Joyo stands on the right side of the Imam. Yasmin

          stands on the left side.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    It is with deep sorrow that we see

                    many brothers and sisters waste

                    their lives without claiming the

                    supremacy of Al Qaeda! Are we going

                    to forgive them?

 

                              AL QAEDA CROWD

                    No!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    We must hit first all those

                    infidels who don't understand we

                    are the chosen of Allah!

 

                              TERRY

                         (jumping to the roof)

                    Yeah! Hurray! Long live Al Qaeda!

                    Yeah! Hurray! Hurray!

 

          People look at him with blank expressions on their faces.

          Terry, visibly ashamed, wears his turban.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    We must turn this system upside

                    down, brothers. We truly believe in

                    compassion, brotherhood and love,

                    yes! But we believe it for the true

                    believers!

 

                              AL QAEDA CROWD

                    Yeah! Yeah!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    We welcome today a saint and a

                    matriarch! From the unfaithful

                    continent, Professor Joyo and

                    Yasmin!

 

          Yasmin and Professor Joyo enter. He wears an oversize Al

          Qaeda Turban; she, a veil.

 

          People cry and clap. The Imam kisses Yasmin on her cheek.

          She smiles back at him.

 

          Professor Joyo spins along the stage unable to see, her

          hands trying to take out his Turban.

 

          Al Qaeda WOMAN 1 stands up before the microphone. She holds

          a notebook on her hands.

 

          Silence. Imam Osama guides Yasmin to a chair. They both sit

          down.

 

          Professor Joyo goes on spinning clumsily his body on the

          stage, until falling out before the audience.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Aaaaaaaaaah!

 

                            

 

                              AL QAEDA WOMAN 1

                    It is my pleasure, brothers and

                    sisters, to announce our Ayatolah.

                    Would the candidates stand up,

                    please?

 

          Imam Osama and Al Qaeda MEMBERS 1 & 2 stand up.

 

          Professor Joyo stands up, managing to take off his Turban.

 

          Martin pulls Professor Joyo down from his sleeve.

 

                              MARTIN

                         (whispering)

                    Sit down!

 

          Professor Joyo falls down on the legs of a Al Qaeda WOMAN 2.

 

                              AL QAEDA WOMAN 2

                    What the hell?

 

          Al Qaeda woman 2 pushes Professor Joyo away, throwing him

          onto the floor.

 

          Imam Osama smiles very confident.

 

                              AL QAEDA WOMAN 1

                    And our new president is Mahmut

                    Hakro!

 

          Al Qaeda member 1 goes to the pulprit. People clap. Revered

          Osama's smile vanishes. He looks at Yasmin's upset

          countenance.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT. NIGHT

 

          Terry sleeps in his bed. Knocks on the door are heard once

          and again. There are cans of beer, pizza boxes and dirty

          silware all around the room. A portrait of Osama Bin Laden

          hangs onto a wall.

 

          Terry wakes up and stands up. He wears a clean suit, but his

          hair is puffy and dirty.

 

          He opens the door. Imam Osama and Yasmin enter visibly

          upset.

 

          Terry goes into the bathroom. Yasmin follows him. Terry

          shaves with a machine.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Bye Mahomed! Don't you know you

                    have a date in ten minutes?

 

                              TERRY

                    I'm ready!

 

                              YASMIN

                    Won't you take a shower?

 

                              TERRY

                    That's all right.

 

          Terry inmerses his head in the loo, then takes it out and

          dries it with a towel.

 

                              TERRY

                    Can you pass me the perfume,

                    please?

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Salim, seated before his dinner table, drinks a cup of wine.

 

          Fatimah walks downstairs, from the upper floor.

 

          Salim stands up. He looks at her in admiration. Fatimah

          wears a white dress that shapes her prominent breasts. Her

          face and hair have changed.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'll be back before midnight.

 

                              SALIM

                    I just prepared dinner and I

                    thought, perhaps, if you want..

 

          A ring is heard. Salim opens the door.

 

          Terry steps in. He carries a red rose on his hand. Fatimah

          approaches him.

 

                              TERRY

                    That dress is too tight, babe.

 

          Fatimah takes the rose from his hand.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (impatient)

                    What lotion do you use?

 

          Terry catches the rose back, snaps it and places it in his

          jacket buttonhole.

 

                              TERRY

                    You like it? Yes, I know, I know...

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (impatient)

                    Insha'allah!

 

          Terry looks at his watch.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing)

                    If we dine before nine we'll see

                    Leno's show.

 

          Fatimah holds Terry's arm. Salim opens the door.

 

                              SALIM

                    Have I seen you before?

 

          Terry's smile vanishes as he looks at Salim.

 

                              TERRY

                    I've never been in court...

 

          Terry grasps Fatimah's hand and leaves. Salim walks to the

          dinner table, where he looks at a served dinner.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. AL QAEDA HEADQUARTER ROOM. NIGHT

 

          The gangster's suitcase lies over a table. Imam Osama takes

          its bills out and organizes them in piles.

 

          To his side, Yasmin hands out a small amount of money to

          Steve, who wears dark glasses.

 

                              STEVE

                    Is that it?

 
 
                              IMAM OSAMA

                    You will get your complete share

                    once the operation be over.

 

          Steve takes his glasses off and looks at the pile of money.

 

                              YASMIN

                    It's for our missionary work in

                    Central America.

 

                              STEVE

                         (credulus)

                    Yarhamkom Allah.

 

          He leaves the room. Yasmin embraces the Imam.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Was he the last one?

 

                              YASMIN

                    Yes. These guys trust me, my dear.

 

          She intends to kiss him. The Imam walks away.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    First, we must keep this money in a

                    safe place.

 

          Professor Joyo enters. His hair is messy.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I want my whole share! I won't risk

                    my life again. I want my money!

 

                              YASMIN

                    Professor Joyo! Be kind with the

                    Imam! He wasts to save the world

                    from the decadence of Capitalism.

 

                            

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    I don't care!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    You are worst than Cain!

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to Professor Joyo)

                    We better leave him alone! He is

                    quite upset.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    But...

 

                              YASMIN

                    Philadelphia is so insecure,

                    Professor. Will you come with me to

                    my hotel? I'll invite you to a cup

                    of tea.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. BAR. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah and Terry, seated around a small table, chat.

          Fatimah drinks a cocktail. Terry drinks a pint of beer and

          eats a huge plate of lasagna.

 

                              TERRY

                    I will make a lot of money. Guys

                    like Mohamde Ali and Michael Jordan

                    started just like me.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Isn't Michael Jordan a Christiam?

 

                              TERRY

                    Oh, yeah. I confuse him with the

                    other guy, Malcom X.

 

          Sound of a broken glass. CUSTOMERS 1 and 2 fight.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    This place is a little bit rough

                    for a date.

 

                              TERRY

                    You are so right! Would you like to

                    go out for a walk?

 

          Customer 1 pushes customer 2 over their table.

 

                              CUSTOMER 1

                    You, mother fucker asshole!

 

          Customer 1 and 2 jump out the table.

 

                              TERRY

                    Aren't they funny?

 

          Fatimah stands up and exits.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing; filling his mouth

                         with food)

                    Wait! Let's split the bill!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. PINE STREET. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah and Terry walk on. The street is dirty.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Why are we going this way?

 

                              TERRY

                    I like this area of the city.

                    Everything is cheaper!

 

          Fatimah watches a BEGGAR, who sleepy lies on the sidewalk.

 

          Hidden some yards ahead, Steve and Martin, wearing black

          clothes, cover their faces.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Isn't it dangerous?

 

                              TERRY

                    Not with me, baby.

 

          Steve and Martin appear. Steve handles a knife. Martin, a

          club.

 

                              STEVE

                    Your purse or your life!

 

          Terry hits Martin, who falls on the floor.

 

          Fatimah screams. Terry looks at Steve. Steve nods his head

          towards Fatimah. Terry hushes up Fatimah by covering her

          mouth with his hand.

 

                              TERRY

                    Don't scream! The police can hear

                    us.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    That's what I am trying to do!

 

          Terry looks surprised at her.

 

          Steve takes his head between his hands.

 

                              STEVE

                         (to Fatimah)

                    If you don't shut up we'll kill

                    you!

 

          Martin stands up.

 

                              MARTIN

                    Give me your money! You, fucking

                    asshole!

 

                              TERRY

                         (remembering his text)

                    You won't touch... Miss Piggy!

 

          Martin and Steve look at each other. Steve grasps Fatimah's

          arms. He places his knife on her throat.

 

                              STEVE

                    Give us your money or I will cut

                    her fucking throat!

 

                              TERRY

                    Hey! Did you call me moron?

 

                              STEVE

                    You, Moron!

 

          Terry jumps over Martin, who is easily put down. Steve

          throws Fatimah on the floor and copes with Terry.

 

          Terry jumps in the air and falls down. Steve jumps on him

          and places his knife on Terry's hand.

 

                              STEVE

                         (continuing; whispering)

                    Take it!

 

          Terry snatches the knife and throws it away. He screams as a

          karate instructor, springs up and beats Steve.

 

                              STEVE

                         (continuing)

                    You broke my nose!

 

          Steve runs away. Terry approaches Martin and kicks him on

          the floor.

 

                              MARTIN

                    Not so hard, man!

 

                              TERRY

                    What?

 

          Martin is knocked out. Terry grasps Fatimah's hand.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing)

                    Let's go.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    What about them? Aren't you going

                    to call the police?

 

                              TERRY

                         (smiling)

                    The police? For such a scam? Come

                    on!

 

          Terry drags her away.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. DRIVE THROUGH. NIGHT.

 

          Sepulveda's car is parked besides the microphone boot. A

          thin BIMBO accompanies him.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    My name is Professor Joyo, what can

                    I do for you today?

 

                            

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    I want a double chesse burger with

                    a soda and twisted french fries.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA (V.O.)

                         (persuasive)

                    Would you like a creamy double

                    chocolate milshake instead of the

                    soda?

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    All right, but...

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Do you want to oversize them?

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    Ok...

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Would you like a vanilla

                    cheesecake? You get two per one

                    dollar!

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    That's fine! What about you babe?

 

                              BIMBO

                    I just want a salad.

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    You heard her!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    It's 10,43. Please drive through

                    the next window.

 

          Sepulveda drives through. He stops besides the window. He

          recieves the package and hands it out to the Bimbo. He pays.

          The Bimbo takes the hamburger out and gives it to Sepulveda,

          who looks at it.

 

                              SEPULVEDA

                    Yummy yummy!

 

          He's gonna bite when he gets a shot through his head.

 

                              BIMBO

                    Ah!

 

          Imam Osama, wearing Profesor Joyo's clothes, looks at him

          from the counter. He jumps out and runs.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Allah is great!

 

                            

 

                                                          CUT TO:

                  

 

          INT. STATE PRISON. NIGHT

 

          Sean is introduced by a guard to a cabin. As he sits down he

          sees Annie--she is seated in front of him, across a glass.

 

                              SEAN

                    Annie! How did you get out?

 

                              ANNIE

                         (sobbing)

                    I have lived a nightmare, Sean. I

                    can't stand this anymore. I don't

                    know anybody in this country. I

                    need to see someone!

 

                            

 

                              SEAN

                    Haven't you talked to Fatimah!

 

                              ANNIE

                    Not at all. She is your friend,

                    afterall. Do you have her address?

                    Her phone number?

 

                              SEAN

                    666 666 6666

 

          Annie stops sobbing. She smiles and stands up.

 

                              ANNIE

                    Thanks, Darling.

 

                              SEAN

                    Are you leaving?

 

                              ANNIE

                    I don't want to see you again,

                    Sean. You won't abuse of our

                    frindship again.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. STATE PRISON. NIGHT

 

          Annie enters to a room, where Inspector Macaulay stands up.

          He handles a cell phone on his hands. The voice of Sean is

          weakly heard.

 

                              SEAN (O.S.)

                    Don't leave me, Annie! I still love

                    you! What have they done to you?

                    Don't believe them! They just want

                    to put us behind bars forever!

                    Annie!

 

                            

 

                              ANNIE

                    Did we nail him?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    You did a good job.

                         (through the cell)

                    I want microphones on every corner

                    of that house. I will be there in

                    fifteen minutes.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. TERRY'S CAR. NIGHT

 

          Terry parks in front of Salim's house.

 

                              TERRY

                    Those ruffians didn't know who they

                    were dealing with.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    They looked so nervous...

 

                              TERRY

                    Thay must be! I almost killed them!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I was quite scared when one of them

                    put his knife on my throat...

 

                              TERRY

                    Ah, yeah! But I saved you.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Don't you think you put my life at

                    risk?

 

                              TERRY

                    The promised me not to...

 

                              SAMANTA

                         (suspitious)

                    Yes?

 

          Terry offers her a golden ring.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing)

                    I want to marry you on the 18th of

                    August--at 10 in the morning.

 

          Fatimah watches very surprised how Terry introduces the ring

          on her finger.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    But! I mean... You! Are you?

 

                              TERRY

                    I am a straight man, Fatimah. You

                    should marry me, so that you can

                    get a green card, have a family and

                    enjoy the American dream. Maybe you

                    won't get it today, maybe not

                    tomorrow, but someday you will,

                    sure. Now, be a good girl and

                    promise to marry me on the 18th at

                    noon.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    But, that's in two weeks!

 

                            

 

                              TERRY

                    Babe! This is not time to

                    wiggle-waggle! I just proposed you.

                    Just say yes, and I will marry you!

                    You say no, and I... I....

 

                              SAMANTA

                    Yes?

 

                              TERRY

                         (angry)

                    I will be very, very angry! Damn! I

                    can't believe I'm doing this! Will

                    you marry me?

 

          Fatimah looks alarmed.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yes...

 

          Terry approaches to kiss her. Fatimah hesitates and opens

          her lips. Terry's eyes are suddenly wide opened.

 

                              TERRY

                    Excuse me.

 

          Terry turns his head and burps grossly. Fatimah looks

          terrified at him.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing)

                    That lasagna was good!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. IN FRONT OF SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Salim, in pajamas, opens the door. He discovers Fatimah and

          Terry, who, without noticing him, chat close by.

 

                              TERRY

                    I think we better wait till the

                    18th, at 10 am, on our wedding day.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Didin't you say at noon?

 

                              TERRY

                    Not at all.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'm not sure of what we are doing,

                    Terry.

 

                              TERRY

                    Yes. Yes. Yes!

 

          Terry steps back smiling. He stumbles and gets into his car.

          Fatimah walks towards the house. She looks worried. Salim

          returns hastily, making a lot of noise.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. ACROSS SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT.

 

          Inspector Macaulay, hidden in a car, takes snapshots of

          Salim and Fatimah. A speaker reproduces the words of

          Fatimah.

 

                              FATIMAH (V.O.)

                    Salim? My God! What are you doing

                    here!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. IN FRONT OF SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Salim tries to open the door, but instead he closes it.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You must be freezing!

 

                              SALIM

                    I was checking the roses, when... I

                    got locked outside the house.

 

          Fatimah tries the door and opens it.

 

                              SALIM

                         (continuing)

                    There you are! Now it works!

 

          Fatimah walks in.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA HOTEL ROOM. DAY

 

          Yasmin receives a small bag from a Imam Osama, who disguised

          as a waiter, blinks his eyes and leaves.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Now your clothes are washed and

                    ironed! You must lose weight,

                    Professor Joyo.

 

          She moves towards the dining table, where a WAITRESS serves

          breakfast. Professor Joyo, already seated, drinks coffee.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (bitter)

                    Will you marry Imam Osama, then?

 

          The waitress exits the room. Yasmin bites an apple.

          Professor Joyo takes the newspaper.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Osama is so apt, so ambitious, so

                    clever, so eye-appealing! Ah!

                    That's why Al Qaeda didn't choose

                    him. We are a very charismatic

                    couple!

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Charismatic?

 

          He fells onto the floor.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Professor Joyo!

 

          The newspaper falls on the ground. The first page reproduces

          photographies of Sepulveda and Professor Joyo, and a title

          in capital letters: GANGSTER MURDERED BY UNIVERSITY

          PROFESSOR.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (continuing; to an still

                         professor)

                    Professor Joyo?

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. GANGSTERS' DEN. DAY.

 

          A newspaper lies over a wooden table--the first page shows

          the photograph of Professor Joyo. A dagger pierces it.

 

          Marciano talks to Machete and Erupto.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    If this fucking nazis think they

                    can play with us, on our own

                    backyard, they are very mistaken.

                    Terribly mistaken!

 

          The telephone rings. Marciano answers it.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (continuing)

                    Yes?... Oh, Inspector Macaulay!...

                    Thanks. I'm sorry too. He was a

                    good fellow. Very forgiving with

                    his mates in Prison, yes. What a

                    pity! You are, as ever, invited to

                    his funeral. No! He was working on

                    his own account. We are not into

                    drugs anymore. Yes, like in the

                    movies! You too! Have a good day.

 

          He hangs up.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (continuing)

                    Machete!

 

                              MACHETE

                    Yes, sir!

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Contact my mother.

 

                              MACHETE

                         (hesitating)

                    With all my respect, Sir, Sepulveda

                    was a brother to us. I would be

                    happy to slit the throat of that

                    son of a bitch.

 

                            

 

                              MARCIANO

                    You don't want to mess up with the

                    Feds, do you? Do as I say! Call my

                    mother.

 

          Machete looks at him with scorn.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Fatimah plays with a kitten. Salim walks with a folder in

          hand, and sits down on a sofa besides her.

 

                              SALIM

                    Are you going out tonight?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I have plans for the entire

                    weekend. What is this?

 

          Fatimah takes the folder from Salim's hands and peruses it.

          Salim embraces the cat.

 

                              SALIM

                    I will enjoy the company of

                    ┬¿Mitten┬¿.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I see you got divorce. Well, we can

                    get married then...

 

                              SALIM

                    Insha'allah!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Wait! Wait! I want to marry you AND

                    Terry.

 

                            

 

                              SALIM

                    What?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Islam should be a religion with a

                    bill of rights. If men can marry

                    many a woman, why can't we?

 

                              SALIM

                    Are you nuts?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Perhaps, but I already gave my

                    word. Will you marry me then?

 

          Salim moves around the room.

 

                              SALIM

                    Let me think of it.

 

          Fatimah embraces him.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Oh, Salim!

 

                              SALIM

                    The point is that I won't trust my

                    co-husband. I haven't been able to

                    remember the facts, but I know foe

                    sure he has been involved in some

                    terrorist activities.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    He is an Al Queda member!

 

          Salim takes a velvet box out of his pockets and kneels

          before Fatimah.

 

                              SALIM

                    Will you marry me?

 

                             

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Yes.

 

                              SALIM

                    Whatever you decide to do, I'll go

                    with it.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (blushed)

                    Aren't you afraid?

 

                              SALIM

                    ... I will always love you.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim!

 

          Salim looks at her. She looks at him. They approach their

          mouths to each other. Ring sound.

 

          Fatimah opens the door. Diane enters.

 

                              DIANE

                    How are you! What a nice kitten.

                    Did you buy it, Mr. Bhil?

 

                              SALIM

                    I found her... in the backyard.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (to Diane)

                    A stray.

 

          Fatimah smiles. Salim and the kitten look at her.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. GANSGTERS' DEN. DAY

 

          Marciano opens Mrs. Cancino's luggage. She, seated on a

          chair, pours milk in a cup of tea.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Mamita linda!

 

          Marciano discovers a luggage full of weapons. Machete and

          Erupto look at them in amazement.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Won't you oil your toys,

                    Marcianito?

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (to Machete and Erupto)

                    Bring them to the Gym!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. NIGHT

 

          Professor Joyo lies on a bed--he seems asleep. Imam Osama

          meets Yasmin.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    How is he?

 

                              YASMIN

                    He will be fine.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Damn! The entire Cali Cartel is

                    behind us.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Where is the money?

 

                            

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (looking around)

                    You mean, the candies?

 

                              YASMIN

                         (embarrased)

                    Sorry, I forget.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Joyo will be a martyr. Let's get

                    out of here.

 

          They step out. At the door they meet the NURSE, an athletic

          30-year old woman who brings a bowl of soup. She rolls her

          eyes and looks intensively at them.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Excuse us!

 

          They exit. Professor Joyo opens his eyes with fear. The

          Nurse smiles at Professor Joyo.

 

                              NURSE

                         (coquettish)

                    It's all right. I know who you are.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA--BROAD STREET. DAY

 

          Wearing cleaning-staff outfits, Imam Osama and Yasmin pick

          up trash from the street. They discreetly take pictures at

          City Hall.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    When did he propose her?

 

                            

 

                              YASMIN

                    Last night.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (laughing)

                    Terry will be honored by the

                    Virgins of Paradise!

 

                              YASMIN

                    I can picture them now! They shall

                    step into City Hall. The audience

                    shall shiver in the cold! And

                    then...

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    When all those baboons, weak-minded

                    Christians, rain-bow supporters of

                    the Vatican, step out of their

                    offices to clap the wedding of

                    another infidel. Boom!

                         (laughing, then serious)

                    Too bad for Terry.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (dismissive)

                    We'll build him a memorial in La

                    Meca.

                         (earnest)

                    We both must be martyrs by then as

                    well, honey. Did you already book

                    the rancho in South America?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    From the night after.

 

                              YASMIN

                    Are we taking the ┬¿candies" with

                    us?

 

                            

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Forget them!

 

                              YASMIN

                    What?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Blame Professor Joyo! He got fake

                    bills in that suitcase!

 

                              YASMIN

                    You are such a crook. Where is my

                    part of that share?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    You'll have to trust on me,

                    Darling.

 

                              YASMIN

                    If that's true he must be swept up.

                    Call Marciano Cancino!

 

          Imam Osama smiles and dials his cell phone.

 

          INT. SOUTH PHILADELPHIA GYM. DAY

 

          Machete practices boxing with a RIVAL. Ring sound. Marciano

          answers his cell. Erupto escorts him.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Hello! What the fuck?... You are a

                    dead man Imam!... Where? Which

                    number?... Bullshit Imam!

 

          He closes his cell and keeps it into his suit. He makes a

          gesture to Machete, who knocks out his rival with a powerful

          right.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. DIANE'S HOUSE BACKYARD. NIGHT

 

          About 50 people drink and chat in a crowded garden around an

          Olympic swimming pool--all they are mainly students, from

          all around the world. Diane and Fatimah drink champagne.

 

                              DIANE

                         (upset)

                    A friend of mine is getting married

                    to a Muslim? I'm not going to your

                    wedding! Have you lost your mind?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I was under pressure.

 

                              DIANE

                    How can you love him?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    There is something you don't know.

 

                              DIANE

                    My goodness!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I will marry him, but...

 

          Diane looks at Martin, who wearing a dark suit talks to

          AFRICAN-AMERICAN GIRLS 1 and 2. Diane walks slowly towards

          them.

 

                              DIANE

                    He's a retarded! That's not love,

                    Fatimah, that's pity. You cannot

                    ruin your life for an asshole.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I also will get married to Salim.

 

                            

 

                              DIANE

                    What?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    A broken heart, at his age, is very

                    sad.

 

                              DIANE

                    That would be bigamy!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I'm a liberal muslim.

 

                              DIANE

                    I think it works the other way.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    He left his wife for me.

 

                              DIANE

                    I find Mr. Bhil still a very

                    attractive guy. But you cannot have

                    a wedding night with more than one

                    man in your bedroom!

 

          Fatimah smiles.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Well...

 

          They meet Martin.

 

                              MARTIN

                    What's up, Diane?

 

                              DIANE

                    Hey nigger!

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (surprised)

                    You are...

 

                              DIANE

                    We are double agents, Fatimah. I

                    think It's about time to tell you

                    of the activities of Al Queda's

                    wedding room.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. STATE PRISON. DAY.

 

          Mrs. Cancino walks through a corridor. She carries a small

          perfume spray on her hands. She is escorted by GUARD 1.

 

          Guard 1 opens a door. Guard 2 and 3 watch about 20 TV

          screens--the monitored images of the entire prison.

 

                              GUARD 1

                    Your Mom is here, Sam.

 

                              GUARD 2

                    You gotta be kidding.

 

          Mrs. Cancino walks in and sprays Guard 2 and 3 on their

          faces. They cough. Guard 1 looks zombie at them.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. STATE PRISON. DAY.

 

          Sean walks through a corridor. He is escorted by Guard 4.

 

                              SEAN

                    What's her name?

 

                             

 

                              GUARD 4

                    She is a woman very dear to you,

                    bro.

 

                              SEAN

                    Annie?

 

                              GUARD 4

                    Wait and see.

 

          Guard 4 introduces Sean into a visitor's cabin. Sean faces

          Mrs. Cancino.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    My son! Sean! Can I speak to you

                    for a moment, officer?

 

                              GUARD 4

                    Sure.

 

          The guard 4 closes the door.

 

                              SEAN

                    Do I know you?

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    I have come to take you out of this

                    den, kid. Now, listen and pay

                    attention to what I say!

 

          Guard 4 opens the door where Mrs. Cancino is.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                         (continuing)

                    Officer! How kind of you. Can you

                    please, pass one of these sprays to

                    my boy?

 

          Mrs. Cancino sprays Guard 4 on his face. Guard 4 coughs. He

          acts as a zombie.

 

                              GUARD 4

                    I will do it, Mom. I don't want you

                    to get mad at me!

 

          Guard 4 exits, closing the door.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    You are going to spray any guard

                    you find on your way out.

 

                              SEAN

                    Isn't it dangerous?

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    They will become three-year old

                    babies.

 

          Guard 4 opens the door and gets into Sean's cabin.

 

                              GUARD 4

                    Mom sent you this, Daddy.

 

          Sean receives it. He sprays Guard 4 on his face. He falls

          smiling as a baby on the ground.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Only once!

 

                              SEAN

                    But...

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Put his clothes on!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. STATE PRISON. DAY.

 

          Guard 2 and 3 watch the monitoring screens. One of them show

          Mrs. Cancino and Sean walking through a corridor--Sean wears

          a police uniform.

 

                              GUARD 2

                    That's mum...

 

                              GUARD 3

                    And Daddy!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. STATE PRISON'S GATE. DAY.

 

          Mrs. Cancino and Sean exit the prison.

 

                              GUARD 5

                         (waving a handkerchief in his

                         hand, sobbing)

                    Don't forget us, Mom!

 

                              SEAN

                    Now I remember you. You were at the

                    airport.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    We both worked, I believe, in the

                    same business.

 

                              SEAN

                    Thanks. Thanks! I'm free, then?

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Not so fast, kid. The children want

                    to ask you some questions.

 

                              SEAN

                    Whose children?

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Mine.

 

          They get into a limousine, parked just in front of the

          prison.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET. DAY

 

          Marciano and Machete cross the street, towards a hospital.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.

 

          The Nurse kisses pasionately Professor Joyo.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Thanks, but...

 

                              NURSE

                    My psychic told me you are my

                    soulmate. I've been waiting for

                    many years!

 

          A cel alarm is heard. The Nurse stands up from Professor's

          Bay's bed and turns off her cel.

 

                              NURSE

                    You should get ready now.

 

          Professor Joyo stands up and takes out his robe--under it he

          wears almost a complete outfit. He unfolds his sleeves and

          stands up in front of a mirror, where he knots his tie up.

 

                              NURSE

                         (continuing)

                    Do as I told you.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Insha'allah!

 

          Professor Joyo goes out by the main door.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR. DAY.

 

          Professor Joyo sees Machete and Marciano coming out from the

          elevator.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.

 

          Professor Joyo runs back into the room.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Your plan failed! They are here!

 

                              NURSE

                    Don't get so exited, Mr. Joyo. It

                    won't do you any good.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    They will kill me. La Familia

                    Cancino. Save me!

 

          He embraces the Nurse's legs. She undresses.

 

                              NURSE

                    Let's switch clothes, soon!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.

 

          Machete and Marciano walk along the corridor. As they walk

          along they prepare their weapons: two small machine-guns.

 

          From the bottom of the corridor the Nurse, wearing Professor

          Joyo's clothes, approaches. Marciano and Machete hide their

          weapons.

 

                              NURSE

                    Excuse me, do you know where can I

                    find a bathroom?

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (jesting)

                    For men or women?

 

                              NURSE

                    Are you of those who can't stand a

                    woman in trousers?

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Get out of my way, freak!

 

          Machete points out his machine-gun to her.

 

                              NURSE

                    You and your big penis!

 

          The nurse steps away. Marciano and Machete restart walking.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Fucking queers...

 

          They have arrived to the door of the last room, at the end

          of the corridor. They enter.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.

 

          Marciano and Machete meet Professor Joyo, in nurse's outfit,

          reading the newspaper. There is a human shape in the bed,

          under the covers.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Excuse us, Se├▒orita. We want to

                    talk to our... brother.

 

          Professor Joyo stands up and walks out.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                         (whispering)

                    He is deadly sleep. But I'm glad

                    you are here! He was feeling a

                    little bit lonely!

 

          Professor Joyo meets Machete, who blocks the door. Machete

          looks at Professor Joyo with desire.

 

                              MACHETE

                         (smiling)

                    Hi!

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Excuse me, Sir...

 

          Machete steps aside, looking at Professor Joyo's butt.

          Professor Joyo goes out.

 

          Marciano lights a cigar.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Close the door.

 

          Machete closes the door. He and Marciano point their weapons

          to the human shape, lying in the bed.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.

 

          The door is closed. Professor Joyo runs towards the

          elevator, at the end of the corridor, where the Nurse waits.

 

          Noise of machine-gun. Noise of screams--Marciano and Machete

          screaming. Sound of a fire alarm. Water falls in all

          directions.

 

          He stumbles in his high-heel shoes.

 

          Professor Joyo reaches the elevator.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Let's get out of here!

 

          A gun points to his head.

 

                              ERUPTO (O.S.)

                    Not so fast, Baby.

                         (to the nurse)

                    You better use the stairs!

 

          The Nurse steps aside raising her hands. Erupto blocks the

          elevator, grasping Professor Joyo from his neck.

 

          Marciano and Machete run through the corridor, towards the

          elevator. They get in. The elevator doors close.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. ELEVATOR. DAY

 

          Marciano, Machete, Erupto and Professor Joyo stand up.

          Professor Joyo is gasping under the pressure of Erupto's

          arm.

 

                              MACHETE

                    He is fucking dead!

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Shut up! What are you doing with

                    that woman?

 

                              ERUPTO

                    She is our hostage.

 

                              MACHETE

                    Are you fucking crazy?

 

          Machete pushes Erupto, who releases Professor Joyo.

          Professor Joyo breathes deeply. The elevator opens its door

          on the basement.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Thanks!

 

                              MARCIANO

                    I had never seen a woman as pretty

                    as you in all my life!

 

          Marciano steps out.

 

                              ERUPTO

                    We must get rid of her, Machete.

 

                              MACHETE

                    Get out of here!

 

          Erupto exits the elevator. Machete follows him. As the doors

          of the elevator close, Machete looks at Professor Joyo and

          smiles. Professor Joyo smiles back nervously at him.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. GANGSTERS' DEN. DAY.

 

          Sean, seated on a chair, peruses the pages of the local

          telephone directory.

 

          Mrs. Cancino peruses the internet on a laptop computer.

 

          Marciano enters--arms wide open, and embraces Mrs. Cancino.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Mamita linda!

                         (looking at Sean)

                    Who's he?

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Sean.

                         (to Sean)

                    This is Don Marciano. The gentleman

                    who sponsored your escape.

 

                              SEAN

                    Oh! I want to thank you, Sir.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Thank my ass! I want something from

                    you.

                         (to Mrs. Cancino)

                    Did you get it?

 

                            

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    He gave us a hint. A woman called

                    Fatimah, who appears to be the

                    bride of Professor Joyo.

                    Unfortunately he only got a phone

                    number, and we need her address.

                    It's not in the web. He has been so

                    kind, though, as to accept to

                    peruse the entire phone directory.

                    Am I right?

 

          Sean looks at Machete's and Erupto's threatening faces. Sean

          looks back at the directory.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Listen to me Kid! If you don't find

                    that address by Monday morning,

                    we'll send you to swim on the

                    Delaware river with a half-ton

                    stone tied up to your fucking neck.

                    Did you get it?

 

                              SEAN

                         (gasping)

                    Yes, Sir.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Es un chico hermoso, Marciano!

 

                              MARCIANO

                    S├│lo trato de inspirarlo, mamita

                    linda.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. IN FRONT OF SALIM'S HOUSE. NIGHT

 

          Seated in his car, Inspector Macaulay looks at Salim's

          House.

 

          Salim, inside the house, plays chess before a window. The

          kitten stands by his side.

 

          A car arrives. Diane and Fatimah get out of it. Fatimah gets

          her bag from the trunk of the car.

 

          Inspector Macaulay lights a cigarette.

 

                              DIANE (O.S.)

                    Take it easy. We'll find out the

                    way to trick them.

 

          Inspector Macaulay springs up from his seat. He grasps his

          photo camera.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I don't want to get Salim into

                    trouble, Diane.

 

                              DIANE

                    You don't have anything to be

                    afraid of. It's not his fault if

                    they bomb City Hall.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (whispering)

                    Shit!

 

          He takes several snaps of Diane.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Thank you for your advice.

 

                              DIANE

                    And don't forget to get rid of that

                    moron!

 

                            

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Hard to believe it.

 

                              DIANE

                    I don't want to hear you talking of

                    him again. See you tomorrow!

 

          Diane starts the car and leaves.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (through his cell)

                    I want Inspector May, from

                    Homicides.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. POLICE STATION. DAY

 

          A big black-and-white photograph of Diane lies on a desk.

          Inspector Macaulay hears Inspector May, a Hispanic woman in

          her 3Os.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Diane Wright. 28 years old. A

                    student of Opera, took part in

                    several march protests in DC during

                    the late nineties. Well known for

                    her confrontational spirit at her

                    university, she accused a white

                    male professor of sexual

                    harassment.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Did she sue the university?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    No. Not yet. But she has boasted

                    she will do it, once she gest her

                    degree.

 

                            

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Very clever.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Next photograph is from Martin

                    Johnson...

 

          Inspector Macaulay looks at a picture of Martin.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                         (continuing)

                    An active member of Al Qaeda, he

                    has travel to Senegal on several

                    occasions.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    What about Diane's profile?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    She is clean. Her family owns a

                    publishing company in California.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    It doesn't make sense.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Why do you think she is a murderer?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    I heard her talking of a bomb. Have

                    you intercepted her communications?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Phone calls and e-mail messages...

                    We even searched her house.

 

          Inspector Macaulay stands up and wears his coat.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    I'll go on checking on Fatimah

                    Hesbani. That girl is far more

                    cunning than I thought.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Fatimah, wearing a robe, opens the door that communicates

          the house with the garden. She yawns.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim!

 

          She crosses the garden towards Salim, who climbs a tall

          tree--with the only help of his hands. He wears his pajamas.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (continuing)

                    What are you doing up there?

 

                              SALIM

                    Nothing important.

 

          Salim jumps boldly unto a branch. He grasps it with his

          hands. Fatimah screams.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Allah alim!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Inspector Macaulay spies on Fatimah and Salim with the help

          of binoculars. He sees Salim's legs swinging on the air.

 

                              FATIMAH (O.S.)

                    You are going to kill me!

 

          Policeman 5 stands by his side, holding a gun.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (whispering, through a cell)

                    She is playing the victim.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Fatimah looks at Salim, who swinging his legs jumps over the

          tree. Sound of a kitten meowing. Fatimah seeks the source of

          the meowing.

 

          She sees the kitten, who clangs to the branch, looks at

          Salim in fear--the end of the branch reaches the roof of the

          house.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    My god! Haven't you called the

                    firemen?

 

                              SALIM

                    They may arrive too late.

 

          Salim crawls over the branch.

 

          Fatimah covers her mouth with her hand.

 

          Salim's hands approach the kitten.

 

                              SALIM

                         (continuing)

                    Good girl...

 

          The kitten runs over the branch, jumps on the roof and

          climbs down the house wall--covered by an ivy. Fatimah picks

          her up.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Now she is safe.

 

                              SALIM

                    Yeah...

 

          Crack sound. Fatimah opens her mouth. Salim looks at his

          back.

 

                              SALIM

                         (continuing)

                    Oh, Dear...

 

          The branch cracks. Salim falls. Fatimah screams.

 

          Salim and the branch lie on the grass.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim! I thought you were... You

                    were...

 

          Fatimah holds him.

 

                              SALIM

                    I'm fine.

 

          Fatimah looks at him. Salim looks at her.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I will only marry you...

 

                              SALIM

                    Uh?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Let me explain you...

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GANGSTER'S DEN. DAY.

 

          In front of a swimming pool, lying over sun chairs, Marciano

          and Mrs. Cancino drink cocktails and read newspapers. They

          wear swimming suits.

 

          Sean is dragged by Machete and Erupto--dark rings hang on

          Sean's eyes.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    I hope you had a good night, Sean.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Did you find the address?

 

                              SEAN

                         (weak, breathing loud in

                         despair)

                    Yes...

 

                              ERUPTO

                    He wrote it down. It's in Narberth,

                    Sir.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Narberth! Not far from here. Let's

                    go, then, to pay our respects to

                    our new friends.

 

          Marciano stands up.

 

                              SEAN

                    Can I sleep now, Sir?

 

          Marciano looks threatening at him. Mrs. Cancino serves a cup

          of aguardiente.

 

                              SEAN

                         (continuing; sobbing)

                    I mean... after... Never mind.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    A glass of aguardiente will help

                    you, Sean.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Fatimah helps Salim to shake his limbs. A car arrives.

          Professor Joyo and the nurse come out--they wear elegant

          clothes.

 

                              SALIM

                    This one too?

 

          Professor Joyo kneels down on the floor before Fatimah.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Forgive me! I don't want to die!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Inspector Macaulay looks at them. He takes several pictures

          of Professor Joyo.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO (O.S.)

                    I don't want to die!

 

                             

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (through a cell)

                    The Black Widow wants to kill him.

                    I'm sending you a picture of her

                    victim--I want his identity

                    a.s.a.p.

 

          Inspector Macaulay hands out his camera to Guard 5. Guard 5

          leaves the place.

 

                              FATIMAH (O.S.)

                    What did you do?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (through the cell)

                    I want all the units in the area!

                    And the chopper! Now!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    La Familia! Al Qaeda! Yasmin! The

                    Imam!

 

          He cries over the ground.

 

                              NURSE

                    I think he's just a little bit

                    nervous.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Around a dining table, Fatimah, Salim and the Nurse talk.

          Professor Joyo drinks a cup of tea--his sight is lost, his

          hands are trembling.

 

                              NURSE

                    He helped Al Qaeda to smuggle a

                    couple of bags into the country. In

                    return he was supposed to get his

                    green card.

 

                              SALIM

                    An so, he told you about...?

 

                              NURSE

                    You, Fatimah and Yasmin, yes. But

                    Yasmin used him. She and the Imam

                    sold him off. I hid him at my home

                    for the night. We had a good time,

                    didn't we, Darling?

 

          Professor Joyo raises his head and looks at her. His gaze is

          lost. He smiles.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Inspector Macaulay watches Salim's house with binoculars.

 

          A Porsche arrives.

 

                              NURSE (O.S.)

                    We started our affair in the

                    hospital. But, then, suddenly,

                    Professor Joyo became apprehensive.

 

          Inspector Macaulay sees Diane and Martin coming out.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Very cunning! They have called

                    their hit-woman to do the task!

                          (through his cell)

                    I want a policeman jumping over the

                    house! This is an emergency!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Nervous? You mean, he had a break

                    down?

 

                              NURSE

                    Oh, no! Professor Joyo is a

                    passionate man. He just wanted to

                    see you. You are his daughter,

                    aren't you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Well... Yes!

 

                              SALIM

                    He is welcome to stay here.

 

          Ring sound. Fatimah opens the door. Diane and Martin enter.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Hello! Aren't you supposed to be at

                    the university?

 

                              DIANE

                    What about you?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim suffered an accident.

 

                            

 

                              SALIM

                    Not me! The cat!

 

                              DIANE

                    Fatimah! Listen to me! Did you

                    break up with Terry?

 

                              FATIMAH

                    I haven't really, I...

 

          Salim looks at them in suspense.

 

                              DIANE

                    Thank God! You need to marry that

                    man!

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (resigned)

                    I see.

 

                              SALIM

                    I don't have any objection!

 

                              DIANE

                    What?

 

          Salim stands up and groans, placing his right hand over his

          back.

 

                              FATIMAH

                         (whispering)

                    I'll explain you later.

 

          He straightens his body. Crack sound. Salim screams.

 

                              NURSE

                    Your back doesn't sound too good.

 

          Fatimah shoves him down onto his chair.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    You stay here! You hear what I have

                    to say!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Inspector Macaulay watches a limousine arriving.

 

          Marciano and Machete come out of the car.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    This woman is far more dangerous

                    than I though!

 

          Inspector May arrives. She handles a sheet in her hands. She

          approaches Inspector Macaulay.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    All the units are ready, inspector.

                    Should I give the order?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    We better wait. This woman is the

                    Stonehenge Connection!

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    What otherwise would be La Familia

                    Cancino doing here?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Perhaps they are relavites.

 

                            

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    That guy looks like another Paki to

                    me.

 

          He looks at a screen, where Marciano lights a cigarrete.

 

          Marciano and Machete walk towards the house. They stop

          before the door and take out their guns.

 

          Inspector May hands out the sheet to Inspector Macaulay--it

          is, in fact, a picture of Professor Joyo's face--taken when

          he was kneeling down.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    According to my computer report,

                    the new victim of the Black Widow

                    is Professor Joyo.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (alarmed)

                    The one who killed Sepulveda!

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Inspector! Yes! You are so keen!

                    You...

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Stop it! They pay me to work that

                    way.

 

          Marciano and Machete get into the house.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

                              DIANE

                    This is a secret operation. At this

                    point, we can't go on without your

                    help.

 

                              MARTIN

                         (to Fatimah)

                    The budget of Philadelphia is in

                    your hands, Fatimah.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Budget?

 

                              MARTIN

                    Think on the costs of a new City

                    Hall!

 

          The nurse stands up.

 

                              NURSE

                    Can I be of any use?

 

          She screams and steps back. Marciano and Erupto appear, gun

          in hand.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (to Professor Joyo)

                    So, this is your fucking gang.

                    Where is Joyo?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    The chili sauce man!

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          A second limousine arrives. Mrs. Cancino drives. Machete is

          seated besides her.

 

          Inspector Macaulay notices Sean, who, still wearing a

          policeman outfit, mouth wide open, sleeps against one of the

          back windows.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (through the cell)

                    Intercept that limousine!

 

          About twenty policemen, wholly armed, surround the

          limousine.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Erupto has seized Professor Joyo around his neck.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Who is Fatimah here?

 

                              DIANE

                    I am.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    No. I am.

 

          Marciano approaches Diane.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Anything to say?

 

                              NURSE

                    Professor Joyo spent that night in

                    the Memorial Hospital. It was Imam

                    Omar who took his clotes and killed

                    Sepulveda.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    And who the hell asked for your

                    opinion? Do I know you?

 

                              MARTIN

                    Leave her alone! I am from the FBI.

                    We can make a deal. If you

                    cooperate with us, we'll get rid of

                    the Swedish mafia.

 

                            

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Uh? I never heard of them.

 

                              MARTIN

                    I think are new in town. You know,

                    the Euro slump...

 

          Marciano puts his gun down and looks at Professor Joyo.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Nobody has introduced us yet.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. GARDEN AT SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Sean, drunk and zombie, is taken out of the car by POLICEMEN

          6 and 7.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    We found him drunk on the highway.

                    I saw you were here and then I say

                    to Sunny, well, let's bring him

                    back where he belongs.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    I really appreciate your help, Mom.

                    And, please, be discreet with the

                    press.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    I perfectly understand. Sunny

                    himself has been brought home by

                    you on several occasions too.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Really?

 

                            

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                         (whispering)

                    Drunk, just like this gentleman.

                         (loud)

                    Are you in a secret operation?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    I gently ask you to leave this

                    place, Mom.

 

          Mrs. Cancino gets into the car.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Of course! How exciting. Let's go

                    home, Machete.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    I thought his name was Sunny.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    Don't tell me how too call my own

                    child! Shame on you!

 

          The car starts and exits.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (to Sean)

                    You are the shame of this

                    institution!

 

          Sean looks zombie at him.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing; to Inspector May)

                    And you too! Find out in which

                    department does he work. I want him

                    ousted.

 

                            

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Doesn't he wear a guard prison

                    uniform?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    You are right!

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    So?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    So, what? Still he's drunk as a

                    goose!

 

          A gun shot is heard. Inspector Macaulay looks at the house.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing)

                    All the units inside! Now!

 

          About 200 policemen jump into the house.

 

          POLICEMAN 8 jumps onto the house from a helicopter.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. SALIM'S HOUSE. DAY

 

          Marciano grasps his right hand in pain.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    You have crippled me!

 

          He looks at Martin, who handling a small gun, aims at him.

          Professor Joyo coughs. The Nurse has grasped Erupto by his

          neck--he gasps.

 

                              DIANE

                    Good shot!

 

          Sound of broken glass. Glasses fell down from the roof.

 

          Policemen 8 falls over Salim.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim!

 

          The house is suddenly taken over by policemen, who aim at

          everybody--even at each other.

 

          Martin drops his gun and raises his arms. The Nurse raises

          her arms. Erupto falls on the ground, breathing with

          difficulty.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY (O.S.)

                    Police! You are arrested!

 

          Salim stands up and helps Policeman 8--whose unconscious

          head bleeds, to raise.

 

                              SALIM

                    This man doesn't feel good!

 

          Salim looks up--a huge distance from the roof.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY (O.S.)

                    You move! Let me get in!

 

          Inspector Macaulay finds his way amongst so many policemen.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Inspector! Virgencita Santa! You

                    saved my life!

 

                            

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (to Salim)

                    Take your hands off from that man.

                    Smith! Raise your arms!

                    Immediately!

 

          Salim obeys and Policemen 8 falls onto the floor.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing; nervous)

                    Everybody to the station!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM. NIGHT

 

          Inspector Macaulay walks around Martin, who, tied to a

          chair, endures a powerful white light over his face.

 

          There is a hanger, and a table with several small items on

          it: a pair of gloves, a glass of water, a wallet and a set

          of keys.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Are you intimidating me?

 

                              MARTIN

                    You will find my ID card inside my

                    wallet--in a secret pocket.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    You want to play the smart guy with

                    me, don't you?

 

                            

 

                              MARTIN

                    I already told you. We must go on

                    with the Al Qaeda plan. A powerful

                    microscopic Arab explosive has been

                    smuggled into the country. Damn! We

                    must get it!

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Microscopic explosive?

                         (he laughs)

                    Let me tell you something. Your

                    friend, Diane, is really an Arab

                    pilot recruited in Somalia.

 

          Inspector Macaulay takes out his jacket and hangs it up.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing)

                    An American Boeing pilot should be

                    by now at the bottom of some damn

                    lake around the area. I already

                    ordered my boys to drain off all

                    the pools and pits of Philadelphia!

 

          Inspector Macaulay takes out a pair of black leather gloves

          with metallic ends from his pocket.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing)

                    You, on the other hand, used to

                    select and bring fresh victims to

                    Fatimah, the Black Widow, the brain

                    of your organization, the executor

                    of your terrorist cell!

 

          He wears the gloves.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing)

                    And that hit-man, Fatimah's fianc├⌐,

                    Professor Joyo, tried to oppose her

                    plans. I saw him kneeling down

                    before her! But Fatimah, such an

                    unnatural bride, ordered you to

                    blow up his brains in the presence

                    of Professor Joyo's lover: an

                    innocent nurse from The Memorial

                    Hospital.

 

          Inspector Macaulay shows his fists.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing)

                    But then La Familia came to take

                    care of Professor Joyo.

 

                              MARTIN

                    What rol do I play there?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    That's what you are going to tell

                    us.

                         (pause)

                    You just miscalculated my skills.

                    As a criminologist I have

                    jam-packed the State Prison with

                    three hundred and twenty nine

                    criminals. Five out of them have

                    been roasted in the electric chair.

 

                              MARTIN

                    You are sick!

 

          Martin sees Inspector Macaulay approaching him. Martin moans

          in despair.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. POLICE STATION. NIGHT

 

          Inspector May talks through the phone. Sound of Martin

          screaming.

 

          Inspector May turns her head and sees, seated in a row, the

          scared faces of Marciano, Professor Joyo, Erupto, Fatimah,

          Diane, Salim and the Nurse--they are all handcuffed one to

          each other; their expressions are identical.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                         (to the phone)

                    I must hang up.

 

          Inspector May walks towards a door. She opens it.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM. NIGTH

 

          The door is open and Inspector May gets in.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    What are you doing here? I gave you

                    orders never to interrupt my cross-

                    examinations!

 

          Martin groans. Inspector May shuts the door.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    You left the door open, Sir.

 

                            

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Why didn't you close it?

                         (nervous)

                    Did they hear something?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    I had a word with the FBI director.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Did you tell him we captured

                    these... punks.

 

          Inspector Macaulay hits Martin. Inspector May gasps.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    I told him YOU captured them.

                    Martin and Diane work for the FBI,

                    Sir.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (pale)

                    Bull shit! They are impostors!

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    By no means, Sir. We took samples

                    of their DNA. He and Diane, the

                    african american lady, are, in

                    words of the FBI, "the best agents

                    of the Eastern coast".

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (furious, to Inspector May)

                    And you were just flattering me!

                    This is a trap! You want to step

                    into my shoes!

 

          Inspector Macaulay unties and frees Martin.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (continuing; to Martin)

                    I hope you won't take it personal,

                    Sir. Would you like a cup of

                    coffee?

 

          Martin looks at him--Martin face looks awfully mistreated.

 

                              MARTIN

                    Yea, Sir...

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    With a drop of milk?

 

          Martin opens his mouth and all his teeth drop out of his

          mouth.

 

                                                        FADE OUT:

 

                              TITLE CARD

                    Two weeks later

 

                                                         FADE IN:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA CITY HALL. DAY

 

          View of the Philadelphia city Hall. The statue of William

          Penn points to the north.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Terry, wearing a groom's outfit and a bowler, stands in

          front of City Hall. Steve, Martin and the Imam stand by his

          side--they are all dressed up for the occasion.

 

          Steve and Martin carry their musical instruments. All of

          them look at the horizon.

 

                              STEVE

                         (to the Imam )

                    It's eight to ten already.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    I know Yasmin is on her way.

 

                              MARTIN

                         (nervous)

                    Perhaps Fatimah suspects. She could

                    have denounced us to... to...

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Say it! To the police?

 

          Imam Osama laughs. GIRLS 1 and 2 walk in front of them.

 

                              TERRY

                    You are so stupid, Martin. She

                    won't miss her only opportunity to

                    get a guy like me.

 

                              STEVE

                    Shut up!

 

                              TERRY

                    It's a fact.

 

          Girls 1 and 2 laugh looking at him.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing; he points out to

                         girls 1 and 2)

                    Look at those girls!

 

          Girls 1 and 2 close their mouth and leave.

 

                              STEVE

                    They are laughing at you, you,

                    Moron.

 

                              TERRY

                         (upset)

                    Nobody calls me moron! Not on my

                    wedding day!

 

          Steve laughs. Terry throws his bowler on the floor.

 

                              TERRY

                         (continuing)

                    I won't marry her!

 

          Steve stops laughing. Martin picks up the bowler from the

          ground immediately.

 

                              MARTIN

                         (to Steve)

                    Look at what you've done!

 

          Imam Osama holds Terry around his shoulders.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (to Terry, paternalistic)

                    Let's not spoil this sunny

                    beautiful morning, Terry. I

                    sincerely promise you: Allah will

                    compensate you with many virgins in

                    Central America.

 

                              TERRY

                    I can not stand people laughing at

                    me!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    They won't laugh at you once you

                    accomplish your duty with Allah.

 

                              TERRY

                    When will I see the virgins?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (to Steve, stern)

                    Tonigh, in your dreams. I believe

                    you own an apology to your Al Qaeda

                    brother, Steve.

 

                              STEVE

                    I was only kidding, man! I think,

                    as everybody here, that you are a

                    true Al Qaeda believer.

 

          Terry smiles. He wears his hat.

 

                              TERRY

                         (smiling, to the Imam)

                    Did you hear what he say?

 

                            

 

                              MARTIN

                    Here they are!

 

          Diane's Rolls stops in front of City Hall. Diane, Yasmin,

          and Fatimah step off the car.

 

          Yasmin hands out a bouquet of white roses to Fatimah.

 

                              YASMIN

                    I ordered it directly from

                    Colombia. Take good care of it.

 

          Fatimah takes it with a smile.

 

          Behind them, Salim arrives in a second car--he, Professor

          Joyo and Salim step out.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Just on time! My dear!

 

          The Imam kisses Fatimah on her cheek and interweaves her

          hand with Terry's.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (continuing)

                    Let's walk in!

 

          Fatimah and Terry look at each other for an instant. They

          turn their gaze immediately to the sky. They follow Imam

          Osama into City Hall.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Nice to see you again! You look

                    great!

 

                              TERRY

                         (arrogant)

                    I know.

 

          Sound of Wagner's music. Martin and Steve play.

 

          Terry raises his eyes even more. He stumbles. Fatimah holds

          him and throws her bouquet on the air.

 

          Yasmin screams and, making a contortion in the air, grasps

          the bouquet before it touches the ground.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (weeping his forehead with his

                         handkerchief)

                    Bissalama!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. BUILDING ACROSS CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Inspector May and Inspector Macaulay (now wearing a

          policeman uniform) look through binoculars at Yasmin, who

          returns the bouquet to Fatimah.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (whispering)

                    Can I suggest something?

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                         (ignoring Inspector Macaulay;

                         through a microphone place on

                         her buttonhole)

                    Ask her why did she do it.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Professor Joyo looks at Yasmin.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    You could have broken your leg,

                    Yasmin.

 

                              YASMIN

                    I'm fine, Dear.

 

                            

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Risking your life for a damn

                    bouquet!

 

                              YASMIN

                         (nervous)

                    I couldn't control myself.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Yasmin won a gold medal in the

                    Russian Olympic games.

 

                              STEVE

                    Without a bouquet, there is no

                    happy wedding!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Now let's go on, please.

 

          They enter into City Hall.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. BUILDING ACROSS CITY HALL. DAY

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                         (through the mic)

                    As soon as you can, Fatimah, hand

                    out the bouquet to any unit in City

                    Hall. We'll try to replace it.

                         (to Inspector Macaulay)

                    Did you want to say something,

                    Macaulay?

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    I just wonder... I think the bomb

                    may be in the bowler, Inspector.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                    Thank you. Can you now, please,

                    contact La Familia Cancino? Ask

                    them to be hand ready for action.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          The wedding train walks through the corridors of City Hall.

          They meet Annie.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (amazed)

                    Fatimah!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Annie? What are you doing here?

 

                              ANNIE

                    Well, I'm just getting my welfare

                    coupons.

                          (she looks seductively at

                         Terry)

                    Who is this boy?

 

                              SALIM

                    Excuse us, Miss. But we have an

                    appointment at the marriage licence

                    office.

 

                              TERRY

                         (looking with desire at Annie)

                    My name is Terry!

 

          The train continues their way.

 

                              ANNIE

                         (puzzled with envy)

                    Wedding? Fatimah? I thought you

                    were going o a costume party.

 

          Annie looks at Terry, who, turning his head, smiles at her.

          Annie smiles back and waves her hand at him.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          The wedding train arrives to the end of a corridor, where

          GUARDS 6 and 7, standing in front of a desk, check their way

          in. Imam Osama shows them a document.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Good Morning, Officers. I have an

                    authorization to register this

                    wedding at the historical archives

                    office.

 

                            

 

                              GUARD 6

                    I'm afraid only three people can

                    enter, Sir.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (to Yasmin, pointing out to

                         the train)

                    Yasmin! Why didn't you get a seat

                    for all of us?

 

          Everybody looks at Imam Osama with blank, disappointed

          expression.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (continuing)

                    Never mind. We'll be back in a

                    minute.

 

          Guard 7 hands out a document to Fatimah.

 

                              GUARD 7

                         (to Fatimah)

                    I need you to sign this release

                    form first, Mom.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    I can sign instead, Sir.

 

                              GUARD 7

                    Madam, Sir.

 

          Imam Osama smiles with anger. Fatimah gives her bouquet to

          Guard 7...

 

                                                          INSERT:

 

          INT. DESK. DAY

 

          Out of the sight of Fatimah, Guard 7's left hand grabs a

          bouquet, identical to Fatimah's.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

                              TERRY

                    I got it!

 

          Terry snatches Fatimah's bouquet from Guard 7's hand.

 

          Fatimah looks at Guard 7. Guard 7 looks nervously at the

          document. Fatimah signs.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET. DAY

 

          Marciano talks through a cell. Mrs. Cancino stands besides

          him.

 

                              MARCIANO

                         (through the cell)

                    We have secured all the street

                    exits from City Hall.

                         (to Mrs. Cancino)

                    Do you see them, Mom?

 

          Mrs. Cancino handles a mini-computer. The screen reproduces

          the tower of City Hall--a light moves towards the top.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                    This lad wants to lead them to the

                    top.

 

          They raise their heads: the tower of City Hall shines on the

          blue sky.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          The Imam, Fatimah and Terry enter into a wide dusty

          hall--surrounded by paper-stuffed shelves.

 

          The NOTARY, a 100-year old man, wearing a quaker hat, signs

          documents with black ink. He is seated before a desk, placed

          in the middle of the hall.

 

                              NOTARY

                         (loud)

                    What are you doing here?

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (to Fatimah)

                    Follow me, please.

 

          Fatimah looks at the bouquet. The bouquet has twelve white

          roses.

 

                              TERRY

                    You did a great job choosing this

                    place, Imam. I feel like in the

                    first century.

 

          The Notary stands up.

 

          The Imam takes out a gun. He shoots a tranquilizer to the

          Notary.

 

          Fatimah screams. The notary falls on the floor. The Imam

          aims his gun at her. Fatimah raises her hands. The Imam

          snatches the microphone from her dress--the dress is torn.

 

                                                          INSERT:

 

          INT. BUILDING ACROSS CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Inspector May screams as noise gets into her ears. She takes

          off her mini-headphones.

 

                              INSPECTOR MAY

                         (through her buttonhole)

                    We have lost contact. Plan B...

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          The Imam snatches the bouquet from Fatimah's hands.

 

          Terry grabs a Imam's arm.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    Are you nuts?

 

                              TERRY

                    You are not a true Muslim!

 

          The Imam hits him violently with the tranquilizer gun. Terry

          grasps the gun and falls on the floor with it.

 

          The Imam runs towards Fatimah and seizes her around her

          neck.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Get your hands off me!

 

          Fatimah kicks the Imam on his stomach. She hits him on his

          face. Terry aims at them with the tranquilizer gun.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    The rose! If I shake it the entire

                    city will blow up!

 

          Terry shoots. The tranquilizer gets into Fatimah's neck. She

          falls down.

 

                              TERRY

                    Raise your arms.

 

          The Imam raises his arms--the bouquet is on his hand.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    You are not going to shoot your

                    Muslim brother.

 

                              TERRY

                    You acted violently. You are lying

                    to us!

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                    They have betrayed us, Terry. They

                    are too many infidels and jews in

                    this country. We must blow up half

                    the city!

 

                              TERRY

                    Shut up!

 

          Terry shoots again. The gun is locked.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (gasping)

                    Check it's not locked.

 

          Terry looks at the gun and shakes it. He gets shot. A

          tranquilizer gets into his ear. He fades.

 

                              IMAM OSAMA

                         (continuing)

                    Moron!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Martin and Steve prepare their instruments on one side of

          the corridor, back to a window. In front of them Yasmin,

          Salim, Diane, the Nurse and Professor Joyo look attentively

          to Guards 6 and 7.

 

          The door opens and Imam Osama suddenly walks in. Martin and

          Steve play Wagner's nuptial march once more. Professor Joyo

          and Diane throw confetti against the Imam, who passes

          through smiling and waving his hand. He leaves. Yasmin

          follows him.

 

          Loud Music and more confetti fall over the floor and against

          the door. Nobody comes out.

 

                              DIANE

                    Fatimah?

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Terry?

 

          The music stops.

 

                              NURSE

                         (to the guards)

                    For God's sake! Check what's going

                    on.

 

                              SALIM

                    Where is the Imam? Yasmin?

 

                              MARTIN

                    They have escaped! Damn!

 

                              STEVE

                         (to Martin, furious)

                    Traitor! Go to Hell!

 

          Steve launches his body against Martin. Martin shuns him.

          Steve's body jumps out of City Hall.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Standing on the street, Inspector Macaulay watches Steve's

          body falling down from the City Hall tower.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                         (through the cell)

                    I want him! Alive!

 

          He runs towards City Hall.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Guards 6 and 7 take out their weapons. Martin shows them his

          FBI card.

 

          The Nurse tries to open the door to the Archives. It's

          locked.

 

                              MARTIN

                    Did you switch the bouquet?

 

                              GUARD 7

                    I'm afraid no, Sir.

 

                            

 

                              MARTIN

                    Find out what happened with the

                    bride and the groom. Diane! We'll

                    follow the Imam.

 

          Professor Joyo and Salim come running from the other side of

          the corridor.

 

                              SALIM

                    Imam Osama has escaped with Yasmin.

                    The other end is locked as well.

 

          Guards 6 and 7 point out their gun machines to the door that

          communicates with the archives office--they don't dare to

          shoot, though, as the Nurse struggles to open it.

 

                              PROFESSOR JOYO

                    Honey! Leave it to the guards!

 

          The Nurse steps back and aims her body against the door.

 

                              NURSE

                    I don't want anybody to get hurt!

 

          She launches her body. The door is broken and thrown open.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Imam Osama and Yasmin get out of City Hall. They are on the

          interior yard of Philadelphia City Hall.

 

          They step backwards (north) to find:

 

          1. Marciano, Machete and Erupto, who handling iron clubs on

          their hands, step forward.

 

                              MARCIANO

                    Have you lost something, Imam?

 

          Imam Osama and Yasmin run rightwards:

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          Fatimah opens her eyes. She looks around. The Notary lies

          asleep.

 

          Terry looks out through a wide open window. He grabs the

          bouquet in his hands.

 

          Fatimah walks towards Terry--her dress is torn. She drags,

          as a matter of fact, a long fabric tail.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Terry!

 

                              TERRY

                         (crying)

                    This is a powerful bomb, Fatimah.

                    All we are going to be martyrs!

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Wait! Wait! Let's be Christians for

                    a moment!

 

                              TERRY

                    How so?

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Yasmin and Imam Osama face:

 

          2. Inspector May and three FBI agents with machine guns.

          They grab Steve, who, being captured, maintains his arms

          raised-- his face is bruised; he lacks a tooth.

 

                              STEVE

                    They got us, brother!

 

          They run left.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          Terry looks at the entire city.

 

                              TERRY

                    Perhaps if I throw it out, it will

                    blow up in the air and we'll be

                    safe...

 

          Terry turns his arm backwards, ready to toss the bouquet on

          the air.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    No!

 

          The door is thrown open by the Nurse, who runs towards

          Terry. Professor Joyo, Salim and the two guards follow her.

          Terry hesitates.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          Yasmin and Imam Osama face:

 

          3. Inspector Macaulay, who aims at them with a gun.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Raise your hands, you, evil Imam!

 

          Imam Osama and Yasmin face southwards:

 

          4. Mrs. Cancino.

 

          Imam Osama smiles to Yasmin. Yasmin smiles back. They both

          raise slowly their hands.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          Terry hesitates. Fatimah jumps and grabs the bouquet--

          struggling with Terry. Terry pushes forward in order to toss

          it through the window. The Notary stands up.

 

          Fatimah flies out of City Hall--with the bouquet in her

          hands.

 

                              NOTARY

                    You have killed your own wife!

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL. DAY

 

          A scream is heard. Everybody looks up.

 

                              YASMIN

                         (to the Imam)

                    Now!

 

          She runs south--against Mrs. Cancino. Mrs. Cancino sprays

          Yasmin, who immediately falls smiling on the floor.

 

                              MRS. CANCINO

                         (to Imam Osama)

                    Come on! Come on, Boy!

 

          The Imam runs west. He faces Macaulay, who is too distracted

          looking up at Fatimah. Everybody else looks at Fatimah, who

          hangs from the tower--her dress hooked from thr window

          frame.

 

          Fatimah holds the bouquet in her hands.

 

          Imam Osama hits Macaulay with his fists and snatches his

          gun.

 

                              INSPECTOR MACAULAY

                    Help!

 

          Imam Osama runs away. Martin and Diane jump out from a

          window from the second floor of City Hall and run behind him

          over Market Street.

 

          Imam Osama shoots backwards. People scream. Cars crash one

          against each other.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          The Notary is grabing Fatimah's tail. He is pulled by the

          weight towards the window.

 

                              NOTARY

                    Help!

 

          Terry grips the Notary's leg.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL TOWER. DAY

 

          Fatimah screams. Behind her, there is a window. Salim, the

          Nurse and Professor Joyo open it.

 

                              FATIMAH

                    Salim! Take the bouquet.

 

          Salim gets the bouquet and hands it out to Professor Joyo,

          who hands it out to the Nurse.

 

          The Nurse drowns it upside down in a jar of water.

 

                              SALIM

                    Now it's time for you to go home!

 

          Salim grasps her hands and pulls her in.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          The Notary and Terry scream. They are pulled out the window.

          Guard 6 and 7 grab Terry's feet.

 

                                                          CUT TO:

 

          EXT. CITY HALL TOWER. DAY

 

          As Terry and the Notary come out from the window, Fatimah is

          pulled down.

 

          Salim is pulled out as well.

 

          Professor Joyo grabs Salim. But he is taken by the weight as

          well.

 

                              NURSE

                    Honey!

 

          The Nurse grabs Professor Joyo's leg just on time.

 

                                                   BACK TO SCENE:

 

          INT. ARCHIVES OFFICE. DAY

 

          Guards 6 and 7 are taken out of the window by the weight.

 

                                                          CUT TO: